Expecting it All (Punishment Pit #7) - Livia Grant Page 0,5

the time they pulled into their driveway, her breathing was completely back to normal. Derek turned off the engine, but didn't move to exit the car.

She finally spoke. "I'm so sorry. I can't believe that happened."

Her words snapped him out of his trance. He turned to pin her with an unreadable stare. "What exactly did happen, Rach?"

"You know. I had a panic attack."

"Yeah, I got that. But why? Why were you there? Why didn't you tell me you were coming? More importantly, why did you just have your first panic attack in almost five years?"

That was the million-dollar question, wasn't it? They'd avoided the elephant in the room for months. There was no more avoiding it. Still, it took her almost a minute to formulate the words.

"Everything is changing and I'm scared."

She'd hoped he'd have some magical answers to make everything all better, the way he always did. That he didn't answer spoke volumes. She watched emotions cross her husband's face. In that moment, he looked so tired. So unsure. It scared her more.

With resolve, Derek leaned his head back on the headrest and closed his eyes. They sat in silence for so long she wondered if he'd fallen asleep. Only the fast, controlled breaths betrayed that her husband was deep in thought.

Random thoughts flickered through her brain as she waited. Was he angry with her? Would he have fucked Trixie on stage if she hadn't had her episode? Was that why he hadn't been coming home and wanting sex with her—because he was getting it at the club?

The longer the silence went on, the shorter Rachel's breath became. She knew from experience how easy it would be to worry herself into another panic attack. Being her Daddy's little had been the best medicine for Rachel's attacks whenever she'd let life's stressors overwhelm her. For years her hero had taken such good care of his baby, making all major decisions so she hadn't needed to worry about a thing.

That was it. Right there. She wasn't Derek's baby any more. Only adults had babies. That meant she had to face grown-up problems again.

The air in the car became oppressive under the heavy weight of uncertainty blanketing both occupants. Rachel reached for the door latch, ready to abandon her husband and take shelter in the house. She wished she could go to her nursery. That room had always made her feel better, but that had changed, too. Everything was topsy-turvy. She could no longer go to her nursery without feeling heavy guilt for the resentment she felt rising up towards her young son; that his mere existence had robbed her of her previously happy marriage.

She hadn't gotten one foot out before he barked his order. "Don't you move, young lady. Daddy will come help you out of the car."

It was his yummy tone of voice she hadn't heard for months—well, except when he'd used it on stage earlier that night with another woman. It was his Dom voice, and she couldn't have defied him if she'd wanted to.

Derek circled to her side of the car; his expression unreadable as he took long, determined strides. Without asking, he reached down to place his arms under her knees and behind her back, plucking her out of the car as if she weighed nothing. He hugged her close to his chest as he kicked the car door closed.

He had to juggle his load to unlock the side door into the kitchen. Once inside, he didn't stop to turn on a light or take off their coats. Instead, he walked through their dark house with great purpose, taking the stairs to the second story two at a time, as if someone were chasing him.

Rachel was stunned when he passed the door to their master bedroom and made a beeline for her nursery. Once inside the room, he held her close as he leaned down to flick on the light switch. The soft glow of the lamps bathed the space in soothing warmth.

It had been weeks since they'd played in the room in which they had previously spent most of their free time. She wasn't sure what to expect, but it wasn't for him to cross to the far side of the room to her changing table.

She'd been on bed rest during the first trimester of her pregnancy, but Derek hadn't diapered her since those stressful days months ago. Only once he'd laid her on the padded top of the tall furniture could she get a good