saturated with the past when he speaks up next to me. “One of the scariest moments of my life was when I figured out that I knew absolutely nothing that someone hadn’t taught me. That’s when I was at my most humble, my most vulnerable. When I realized just how much I needed people.”
“When was that?”
“The night I lost my favorite teachers.” He swallows, as if he’s in pain, his words coming out chalky. “That night, when Delphine came to tell us that our parents weren’t coming back…I stood, walked out the front door, and kept walking. I don’t remember how I got here, but I knew I was searching for something, I needed something, and somehow I ended up in this clearing, staring at these trees, searching the sky for answers.”
“So, this is where…”
He turns to me, his thick hair disheveled, new stubble on his jaw. “For me, this is where it started for me.” He swallows. “It became a sort of church at first, a sanctuary. Wild, overgrown, and untouched. I was drawn to its purity. Over the years, it was like this place summoned me. At first, this is where I grieved because I didn’t want Dom to see. Eventually, I came to map out my future, clear my head. Night after night, when Dom went to sleep, I would run the nine miles to get here. Sometimes when Delphine passed out, I would take her car.”
“So, that’s why you were here that night?” The night I ran into the forest calling his brothers’ names. The same night he kissed me, sending me into a tailspin.
He shakes his head ironically, his expression somber. “This was my place. I don’t know if fate plays a role in life, but I knew when I found it. Somehow, I knew this place was meant for me.”
He plucks at a piece of grass next to him, before rubbing it between his fingers. “That’s why I wasn’t at all surprised when Roman started building his fortress only a few hundred yards away from where I was charting out my future and his.” I try and picture Tobias here as a young boy, newly orphaned and utterly alone in the woods staring up at the night sky. The image I conjure up tugs at every corner of my heart. To be so young, to have lost everything in a blink. It’s unimaginable.
He sips his wine, his swallow audible.
“I can still remember Papa putting a voice to his big dreams. His plans for us, the way he advocated for this place, willing us all to imagine along with him, in this new world, this new life he so believed in, that turned and robbed him of his every dream, of his life. So when I lost them, I pushed the world away. I trusted no one. I was so angry that I shut myself off completely. And the more I learned about the world he believed in, the people he blindly trusted, put his faith in, the angrier I got.” He watches me carefully. “My purpose began to change as the years passed. I made no room for anything else. And since, I’ve been doing exactly what I set out to do. Every plan I made here, I put into motion. Every decision I made here, I made happen.” He turns to me. “Yet somewhere along the way, I forgot to look around, look up, to focus anywhere but on my task. I got so determined to see my own plans through. I tainted this place. I shared it for the sole reason of carrying out my purpose. After a few years, it was no longer my sanctuary because my ambitions had turned it into a war zone. That’s why I like your view. You’re seeing it right now, the way I saw it for the first time.”
He takes another healthy sip of wine as I absorb his words and decide to offer some of my own.
“I believe in fate,” I declare, “I truly do. I felt it earlier today in that boardroom. I was at my most vulnerable as well when something clicked inside of me. It was like a voice I’ve never heard. And for a few seconds, I saw my future so clearly, so vividly. I don’t at all think it’s a coincidence that I came to Triple Falls, or that I’ve had the experiences I’ve had in the last year. It was like all of the hell I’ve gone through