they’re stunning. Together, they’re devastating. She grew up in the life, and she seems to have it together in a way I never will. She’s perfect for him. The type to keep her calm despite any circumstance, to keep her emotions in check, a strong silent support. A true queen.
And I’m willing to bet she’s never slept with his best friend or his brother.
I die a thousand times before she turns back to me, not at all intimidated by my presence, and that undoes me. I feel the stab soul deep. It’s like losing him all over again.
“It was good to see you, Cecelia.”
I can only nod, as white-hot jealousy eats me alive before she saunters away. She starts his Jag and makes her way out of the parking lot, and I stare after her for several ragged heartbeats before my eyes drift back to Tobias. My voice fails me for a handful of seconds before I finally speak.
“She’s beautiful.”
He nods, watching me closely.
“Good for you,” I rasp out. “I was supposed to get married in two months, but I broke it off before I came here.”
He slides his hands in his pockets, his expression unintelligible.
“I can see myself home. You should get back to her. I’ll figure it out.”
“Come on,” he says, moving toward me, and I shake my head, refusing him.
He pulls my keys from his pocket, gripping my elbow. I jerk my arm away and he groans out in frustration. “Just get in the fucking car, Cecelia.”
My chest screams for relief, but I know tears won’t ever be enough to alleviate the unbearable ache.
“Were you going to tell me about her?”
“No point.”
“Why? Because you knew it would hurt me? That’s what you do best.”
“This doesn’t have to get any uglier.”
“But you love seeing me in shreds. And you love to be the one to do it. So why hide her? You had to know how much it would hurt me.”
He lowers his gaze.
“Look at me, you bastard!”
Blazing eyes flick to mine. “It’s been six years, Cecelia. What did you expect?”
Not her. Anyone but her. Anyone but a woman capable of making him happy, of being the right woman at his side. Anyone but a woman who deserves him, anyone but a worthy woman. He scans the parking lot and clicks the fob to locate my rental. He wants no part of this conversation.
“She didn’t fall for or fuck your brothers,” I say, and his head snaps up. “She had a crush on Sean back when,” I continue, “but I guess that’s a minor offense compared to me.”
Agony. Pure agony. It’s nothing like I’ve ever felt, which surprises me because I thought I’d felt it all up until this point. I can only imagine it’s nothing compared to what he felt when he witnessed and heard my confessions for the two men closest to him after the fact.
I was a fool to think that my sexual exploits wouldn’t have consequences. They were fools to think so as well, but I seem to be the only one paying for them.
Either way, it’s a punishment that I. Can’t. Handle.
Not in my state, not with so much alcohol in my veins.
“I don’t know what I expected.”
Tobias comes for me as the threatening tears finally fall. “No,” I shake my head over and over. “I left my fiancé. I left my whole life…I’m so damned stupid,” I say as the first tear falls.
“Cecelia, don’t—”
“What must you think of me now,” my breath hitches as my heart scatters at my feet. “Have you ever once missed me? Have you ever wondered what would have happened between us had it all gone down a different way?”
“I’m not doing this.” He closes the space, gripping my elbow again and unlocks my rental with the fob before he ushers me inside, tossing my purse on my lap before leaning in to buckle me in. “I’ve got it,” I snap, clicking my seat belt before he rounds the car and gets behind the steering wheel.
He turns over the ignition, and I lean back cradled in the leather and just stare at him, utterly lost. I feel too damned much and always have. I don’t care if he sees it now. Let him. My foolish heart brought me here, and it’s been completely drained of all hope. So be it.
Because if he’s truly moved on, if he loves her, if he’s happy…I suffocate in my skin as I look over at him. He didn’t want me to see