Even so, part of me thinks that’s some of the reason why it was so easy for Tobias to keep his distance and let me go.
“What are you doing, Cecelia?”
“I don’t know,” I say as the day catches up with me. I picture Collin in our house, staring at the wedding invitations I left stacked on the table. Tears gather and fall at the thought. I can’t imagine what he’s thinking or how he’s feeling.
“What have I done?”
“You threw your life away for a man who doesn’t at all deserve you. Babe, a better friend would have you admitted.”
“I know it seems crazy, but I have to see this through.”
“Go back to Collin. He’ll take you back.”
“I told him the truth.”
“You what?!”
“I had to.” And today was all the proof I needed. It was there. Healthy or not. It was there, everything I felt for him, and I can’t deny it. Especially now.
“Jesus, Cecelia. What did Collin say?”
“He hung up on me. And I don’t blame him.”
“What a shitshow. Look, I know I was joking, but are you okay?”
“No. No, I’m not. But what am I supposed to do? I can’t continue living a lie, and that’s all I’ve been doing. It’s not fair to either of us and today…I got my answer. Not that it’s the one I wanted, but it was there. It was still there. I hate that I’m still in love with him. I hate that being within feet of him had the same effect on me.”
“Do you want him back?”
“I don’t want to love him,” I whisper hoarsely. “Stupidly, I thought…”
“Thought what?”
“I thought I would see him, and my adult brain would kick in and reason with my stupid heart.”
“That you would see him differently, and it would put your feelings in perspective?”
“Exactly.”
“But that’s not what happened.”
“No.”
“Well, I love you. And if this is what you feel you need to do, and where you need to be, then do it. I’m behind you, and I’ll be here. Just try to get some sleep.”
“I will. I Love you.”
“Love you.”
Making my way up to the bedroom, I feel the weight of the day take its toll. For years I’ve imagined this day, seeing Tobias again and finally being able to unleash some of my anger while gaining the upper hand. But it never works out like I imagine it would. And with him, it never will. But Christy is right. If I ever had a chance of making it with anyone, it was Collin. And despite my emotions winning and the realizations I’ve been faced with, remorse wins as I pull my engagement ring out of my purse, slip it on my finger, and cry myself to sleep.
Ryan sips his coffee and eyes me over his laptop. “He’s going to blow a gasket when he sees this. Daily morning meetings? Moving headquarters temporarily to Triple Falls, and, are you serious?” He points to the list of conditions I handed him.
“Yep.”
“You sure he’ll go for this?”
“Yep.” And he will because he thinks he’ll win. Tobias is overconfident when it comes to me, always has been. Despite the kick to the chest yesterday, I’m determined to keep it business.
Ryan types a mile a minute as I kick back with my coffee, a smirk on my lips.
“You’re determined to piss this guy off.”
“Like I said, he owes me—either way, we’re selling. Go ahead and entertain another bid. Make sure he catches wind of it.”
“Aside from you, what’s this guy’s interest in the company?”
“It’s personal.”
“You’re infuriating.”
“That’s exactly what I’m hoping for.”
“Shooting it off now.” He sits back and eyes me. “What exactly are you hoping to gain here?”
“Perspective.”
“And you need it. Why?”
I glance down at the ring on my finger. “Because I need to atone for what I’ve done.”
“How so?”
“People got hurt because of us. People are still getting hurt.”
“This is about a breakup?”
“Not exactly.”
“For fuck’s sake,” he slams his computer shut and shoves it into his satchel before standing.
“Ryan, I’m sorry, but I can’t—”
He snatches his jacket and pulls it on. “I’m going for a walk.”
“Ryan—”
I move to go after him when my phone buzzes in my pocket, a local area code, and a number I don’t recognize.
“Cecelia Horner.”
“Do you think this is fucking funny?”
I can’t help my smile. “Good morning, Tobias. I’m looking forward to working together.”
“This isn’t happening. I’ve given in to all your other demands.”