the corner. I strained to listen. The band in the background announced the ball would be dropping and it was time to tune into the television. A roar of excitement erupted. It was then that I realized how long we'd been gone. At least forty minutes, give or take. A torrent of unease rushed through me. My knees shook and I pulled away, dropping Kova's coat onto a cushioned chair on the balcony. I wondered if my friends were looking for me.
"We have to go."
I wasn't sure how much time was left, but we needed to leave immediately. The guests and band grew louder. I figured we had less than five minutes. As I moved to walk away, Kova placed a hand on my arm.
"Wait… Stay," he whispered.
My eyes widened. "Don't you need to find Katja? The ball is going to drop, and you need to be with her when it happens." I was supposed to be Hayden's midnight kiss, so said Avery.
Kova stood still as he looked deep into my eyes. With a subtle shake of his head, my stomach flipped.
"I am right where I want to be," he murmured.
Sixteen
Kova left me breathless.
As much as I wanted to stay here and ring in the new year with him, celebrate the start of new beginnings, I knew we couldn’t. The meaning didn’t apply to us.
"Kova… Go. Please. This is wrong. Don't do this."
"I know," he whispered. Cupping my elbows, he pulled me close until I fell into him. I pushed against his arms yet gripped his biceps. My sense of right and wrong at war. His fingers glided up my arms and my breathing became strenuous. It was always in his touch how I knew what he felt, in his eyes what he was trying to say.
"We need to leave," I said, my throat dry.
He shook his head. "Not yet."
My heart dropped. If we stayed any longer, we'd risk being caught. "You're certifiable."
He smirked and pulled my hips to his. "Depends on who you ask."
"You're intolerable. What about everything you said about Katja? Your guilt and stress? "
His eyes darkened but he didn't release my hips. "My guilt does not compare to my need for you, Ria."
"I'm going to slap you," I deadpanned.
His eyes twinkled. I should've suggested castration instead.
"I want you."
I shook my head, my eyes pleading with him. "You can't. Please, you can't. I thought the whole reason you pulled me from the meet was so you wouldn't want me. That if I said no, in turn, you would say no." My voice shook. My emotions were climbing and I was on the verge of panicking. We were taking a big gamble being together when the ball dropped. "So all that…" I looked away, my eyes searching into the darkness as if I could see someone, but I couldn't. I swallowed hard. "That was for nothing?"
Kova sighed deeply and didn't say a word. His lack of dispute said it all. Everything he did was in vain. Everything. Pulling me from the meet. Feeling bad about Katja. All of it. Tears burned my eyes and I swallowed hard. I couldn't do this with him, the constant up and down. It wasn't fair.
"All you've done is treat me like shit. I need to go."
Kova's face contorted. A shadow cast over his eyes for a split second and I thought I had offended him. Tightening his grip on my hip, he pulled me flush against him. God, he smelled amazing. His knuckles trailed my temple and down my cheek. He brushed a lock of hair behind my ear and twirled the strand down his finger.
"Krasavitsa," he said, and his tone made my belly curl. I couldn't figure out the meaning of the word, but my nipples hardened in response.
The countdown began in the distance and people started shouting the numbers. My eyes widened and alarm set in. My brain said to leave, but my body wouldn’t move.
I couldn't. I didn't want to.
I made the mistake of looking at Kova. The urge to trace his full lips with mine, then draw them into my mouth was strong. Our mouths were inches apart. I loved his lips, they were his best feature, but I didn't want him to know he still affected me after how harshly he treated me and think he could get away with it. But then he pressed his chest flush against mine and I gulped. The moment I felt his heart thumping against my breastbone, my worry became a