My team walked in a perfectly straight line toward vault. Chin up, shoulders back. World Cup was second on rotation. Which meant I had less than an hour until I competed.
We were dressed in matching black sweat suits with a leotard underneath. Of course, Kova would've picked black. It was the only color he ever saw and wore. Our leos were even black, but with swirls of peridot Swarovski crystals curving and swooping like ocean waves. Hair was pulled back into a tight ponytail, not a flyaway in site. Jewelry was removed and sports bras hidden away.
Stepping up to the row of chairs that lined the gym wall, we spread out and took a seat. I began shuffling through my duffle bag for my gear when my wrist caught a sharp corner. I pulled back.
Brows scrunched together, I slid aside the extra leotard I carried with me and I drew in a breath as a hard surface appeared before me.
It was the notebook I'd given Kova. I'd forgotten he'd taken it that night.
My eyes widened and I hastily tried to block the view of my bag by flipping down the top and concealing the contents. My eyes skipped around the small group to see if anyone saw or heard anything, but they were oblivious. My heartbeat thundered in my ears. When I felt confident no one saw anything, I looked back at the little notebook. I wondered when Kova had the opportunity to sneak it in my bag, and why he'd changed his mind after adamantly telling me it was a stupid idea.
Instantly I became paranoid. Again, my eyes shifted from side to side without turning my head to see if anyone caught anything. My adrenaline spiked, my heart rate jumped.
He played this game better than me. I never even saw him slip it in.
My fingers stroked the thin, hard edge. I contemplated opening the notebook now instead of later. I wasn't worried someone would see me reading, I didn't think anyone would care, I worried there would be something that could mentally mess with me before the meet. That's what I feared the most.
I chewed my bottom lip, unsure how to fight the curiosity that bubbled inside me. Maybe I could just peek??/p>
But instead I glanced away, fighting the urge, and caught Kova's pointed stare. Our eyes locked and all the air left my lungs. He openly watched me with a prudent gaze that simmered with thirst. The chain linking us tightened around my heart and drew me closer.
He gave me a subtle nod.
Kova wanted me to read what he wrote.
Shit.
My anxiety was flying high. This time when I glanced around at those surrounding me, I took note of their actions. When I believed no one would question me, I pretended to stretch out and leaned down. I made sure my bag shielded what I was about to do and flipped open the hardcover to the first page.
I took a risk for you. Now take a risk for me and drop every fear you have ever had. Go out there and be defiant. Refuse to lose.
He didn't sign it. Didn't give himself away. He kept it discreet.
A silent sigh of relief rolled off my lips and my mouth curved into a fainthearted smile. This man. My chest was lighter and so was my fear. I closed the book shut. Then I grabbed the small bag I used to store pads and tampons in and quickly stuffed it in there. I zipped it up, then topped it with my clothes and closed my gym bag shut.
I sat on my knees and pulled on my wristbands. I recalled the words in my head, hearing his voice each time. He had taken a risk for me. Many risks. Way too many risks to count. My goal had been the same since the start and now it just took a little deviation.
I was going to do as he asked. I would take a risk for him and drop every fear I've ever had. I would be defiant. I would refuse to lose.
After my grips were on, I realized I hadn't taped my ankle to alleviate the pain. I should've done that step first since my grip was now limited, but my mind had been elsewhere. A disgruntled huff escaped me as I ripped back the Velcro with a scowl and dropped the wristbands to the floor. Just as I was about to wrap