on my thighs, I stared at my palms. While I hadn't had rips in a while—thankfully—I still had calluses. I began picking at the dead skin and pulling little pieces off at a time. Kova's feet appeared in my line of vision and another silent tear slipped from the corner of my eye.
Without thought, I widened my legs to accommodate him and hooked a foot around the back of his leg and pulled him closer. He leaned in so his cheek touched mine.
"Malysh," he whispered only for me to hear. "Take this."
For whatever dumb reason, that made me cry harder. I nodded and reached for the tissues that appeared between us.
"Kova, I think you need to leave," Hayden said. "I'm serious. Go."
"I am not going anywhere right now," Kova bit out, not bothering to look at him.
I wiped under my eyes with the tissue and Kova smoothed my hair back. My stomach was in knots. I was nauseous to the core over everything that had transpired tonight and I fought to push it down. The vodka wasn't helping.
Kova placed a finger under my chin and tilted my head back. He took the tissue from my hand and dabbed around my face.
"Open your eyes. Look up."
I did as he said and let out a long breath. He sniffed. "Vodka? You have been drinking."
I pursed my lips together before I asked, "How can you tell?"
"I can smell it."
"Liquid courage. Isn't that what they call it?"
The corner of Kova's mouth twitched and his eyes softened. "I suppose so."
"That stuff tastes gross. I don't know how you drink it."
"It is an acquired taste."
"So is rape," Hayden chimed in, his voice tinged with bitter resentment.
I looked over my shoulder at Hayden and gasped, ready to deny that Kova did such a despicable thing.
Kova went ramrod straight and angled his body defensively toward Hayden.
My gaze shifted between them. I panicked, my heart pounding viciously against my chest. I knew what was coming.
"I did no such thing!" Kova bellowed. "I am not what you think I am, Hayden, and I am not going to try and make you understand when you refuse to open your mind."
"You're right, I can't understand it. In fact, I think you liked what happened. I think you're a sick individual who took satisfaction in the power of authority you have. Things don't happen unless you want them to." He paused and sent a fleeting glance in my direction before he was back on Kova. "I think you belong in jail."
Jail. Dear God. Fear set in. The friction in the room intensified as the temperature dropped. The vicious pounding of my heart echoed in my ears. I wasn't sure how much more I could take. Jail was the last thing I wanted.
"Hayden," I begged, hiccupping for air. "You promised me you wouldn't say anything to anyone, including the police, if I told you the truth. You promised."
He stared at me, pity evident in his eyes. "That was before I knew everything. This is so much more. He needs to be held accountable for his actions."
"This is how you repay me after what I have done for you?" Kova sneered at Hayden.
"I'm not entertaining that topic, so drop it."
Terrified he would call the cops, I gasped for air. I couldn't think straight and feared the worse.
Gripping the edge of the countertop, I pleaded with him. "You think we're the first people to ever have an affair? Because we're not."
Kova cupped my cheek to turn my attention back to him. "Breathe," he ordered, his eyes soft as he regarded me. With Kova, that was all I needed. One deep look to know his thoughts, and right now, guilt prevailed to be the strongest emotion. "Are you okay?"
"No, she's not okay, you asshole," Hayden snarled.
"What can I do for you to see it from my perspective?"
Hayden shook his head, and my stomach dropped like a ten pound weight had settled in my gut. "We're running in circles here. I don't even know how to respond to that." He put his hands up. "You know what? Fuck this. I'm out." He grabbed his keys and made his way to the door. "I can't sit here and watch this fucking disgusting prick manipulate you," he spat in unreserved disgust and I recoiled. "I'm going for a run. When I get back later, he better be gone."
"Get back later? Why would he come back?" Kova probed, his heated glare scorched my cheek. I looked at him.