He kissed my forehead and snuggled me to him. "You have not ruined my life. If anything, you have made it better."
My jaw trembled. "Kova?"
"Yes," he said, rubbing the back of my head. Fatigue hit me hard, I could barely keep my eyes open much longer.
"You should probably go home. It's getting late." And I'm sure Katja is wondering where you are, I wanted to add.
"I am right where I want to be. Now go to sleep."
Thirty-Five
Exhaustion had caught up to me.
"Adrianna, have you lost weight? You look awfully thin today."
I picked my head up and met Kova's concerned gaze. He stood before me, his face scrunched together while his eyes scanned the length of my body. He gawked unhappily while I dug through my gym bag searching for my wristbands. I had vault with Madeline soon.
"Um, no? Not that I know of, but even if I had, wouldn't that be a good thing?" I mocked with annoyance, rolling my eyes.
"Excuse me?" he retorted, placing his hands on his hips.
It’s been over three weeks straight of this self-induced madness I had asked for. Over three weeks of long and grueling, hardcore extra conditioning. Fifteen-hour-day practices, muscles so overworked it hurt to walk or even lift a fork, sports tape covering various parts of my body, so much Motrin I should be committed for abusing it. Biting words crammed with harsh disagreements hurled back and forth. And of all things to say, my coach asked me if I had lost weight.
He should be fucking beaming if I had.
Okay…I was a little cranky lately.
I dropped my bag and stood taller, digging my heels into the floor. I winced. Today was not my day. I had an awful headache and my Achilles was throbbing terribly. It started out as a dull twinge here and there over a week ago and had progressed into a fiery pulse since then. But I had hidden it well, no one would suspect I'd been dealing with this new pain.
Not to mention, I peed blood again, only this time it wasn't as much.
Lowering my voice, my heart sped up as I said, "You repeatedly tell me I sound like an elephant when I land. Obviously, I'm too fat for your taste. My mom is still harping on me. It wasn't like I was trying to lose weight, but if it happened, then I'd called that a blessing in disguise. Wouldn't you?"
Kova stepped closer, a cruel darkness swirling about him. I swallowed hard.
"I am getting sick of your attitude, little girl. I have done nothing but give you what you begged me for every day, and every day you reward me with a sharp tongue I want to cut out. I do not know who you think you are talking to me like that, but it is getting old. You better get rid of that attitude fast."
"Or what?" I snapped, putting emphasis on the T. I licked my dry lips and Kova watched, his forehead creasing together.
Just when I thought he was going to come back with another ultimatum, he caught me off guard.
Kova titled his head to the side to scan my body again. Now he seemed alarmed more than anything, like he actually looked at me.
"Are you sleeping enough?"
"What?"
"Answer the question. Are you sleeping? You have bags under your eyes, you are haggard looking. I guarantee if I put you on a scale it would show weight loss. And you are moody."
"I sleep like a baby," I lied. I hadn't slept in weeks, not since the night Kova stayed over. I was running on fumes, past the brink of exhaustion, and yet, somehow, I was still here giving it my all. I think it was sheer will and determination that drove me, because my body was ready to collapse at any minute. Maybe a dash of hardheadedness. Who needed sleep when their future was a ticking time bomb? I had one week until my first meet. There was no time to sleep when I had so much to do.
He squinted his eyes. "Is there something you want to talk to me about, maybe? Did I do something? Am I pushing you too hard?"
I scoffed. "I'm dealing with PMS. My cramps are terrible and I'm about to get my period. Not everything is about you, Kova." Partially true. Mostly a lie.
All I ever did now was lie.
Kova closed his mouth, but I knew by the look in his eyes he didn't believe