away, now that the show is over. A few watch and wait to hear my answer.
I hate them. I hate them all.
“I’m soaked. Okay?”
Spider says nothing, but his smile is filled with triumph. His head swoops in, and his mouth ravages mine.
I cry out against his kiss, and his tongue bullies mine. He must taste himself, but he doesn’t seem to care; in fact, he moans as if it turns him on.
So, so hot.
He lifts his head, and I hate that my senses are clamoring, that it feels as if I’m breathing every breath for him.
“I’m gonna watch this whole show later,” he growls. “Might invite the guys. What do you think about that?”
Shame chokes my throat. I tense, trying to pull out of his grip, and his fingers pinch my nape. Leaving me no way to escape.
“Go get cleaned up.” He releases me, picks up the whiskey Gin left for him, and throws back the drink in one go. “Stay in my room until I tell you otherwise.”
I push to my feet on weakened knees and stumble for the stairs.
Clambering to put a world of distance between us before I give into the temptation to break Spider’s jaw, I can’t get the stairs fast enough. They seem to move away from me with every step, and I push through a group of men I’m sure have moved into my way on purpose.
Someone hurries for the stairs, and I whip around expecting Spider, but Rat thunders past me. He’s carrying a woman I’ve never seen before over his shoulder, leaving me no choice but to move aside and let him pass as he races up the stairs.
Halfway across the barroom, Cap is just making his way through the crowd toward the door to the bar, and I catch the disgusted look he throws Spider over his shoulder.
Lord, Cap saw that whole thing. Somehow, the thought that he was there is more mortifying than the idea of anyone else watching, and a wave of humiliation crashes over me.
All I want to do is disappear up the stairs where I can be alone and forget this whole day ever happened, but Reaper follows the path Rat made up the steps, pulling a woman with him.
Striker fires me a grin and claps Spider on the shoulders over the back of the couch. “Now there’s the Spidy we know and love. Nice to have you back.”
Spider’s reaction is not what I expect. He grabs Striker by the scuff and jerks his face close, his teeth bared. “Fuck off.”
Giving myself no time to contemplate Spider’s anger with his friend, now that the stairs are clear, I bolt, racing up them.
For a second, my eyes catch sight of that blasted camera at the top of the steps. I push down a wave of tears and tear down the hall, unable to get into the bedroom fast enough.
As soon as the door to the bedroom is closed and I’m alone, I collapse to the floor on my knees, my legs unable to hold me up any longer. The feel of Spider’s release slicks my skin, seeping into my pores, the rich, musky smell of him filling my nose, flooding my head until it swims. I long to run to the bathroom and scrub it off, but my legs won’t hold long enough. The scent fills every crevice of my life, smashing my resolve to bits.
What’s left of my will to remain strong and unbreakable flies apart like shattered glass.
My fists thump the door, my fingers digging into the wood. My shoulders shake with sobs that feel like they’ve been held back for weeks.
Cap had once said I was the only one who could keep Spider from being destroyed by his own demons, that I was the only one who could save him. That I had to save him. Today, he’d said I’d have to embrace the darkness if I wanted to make it in this life. He’d said today that I would find my place here, but he was wrong. He had it all wrong.
There is nothing here for me except pain and destruction. The darkness in Spider is too big, it’s too much, and I know now that I can’t save him. I can’t, and if I don’t find a way to escape him soon, his demons won’t just destroy him. They’ll destroy me too.
They’ll destroy everything I am, and then they’ll devour me whole.