With Every Breath (Slow Burn #4) - Maya Banks Page 0,88

the cold, but to the condemnation thrown at her from every direction.

One more day. Less than twenty-four hours now and she had only that much time to reassess her options and adapt because she would not fail this time. She would succeed at any cost and no one, especially not Wade, would die because of her.

Because she could call what she felt for Wade a lie for an eternity and exist in the same state of denial that got her in over her head years ago, but she knew the truth. It was raw and it was painful, as only the truth can be, but what she felt for Wade, what he made her feel for him and the fact that he gave her a taste of the forbidden—hope—and one night of feeling loved was no lie.

It was real. Too real. And it scared the ever loving hell out of her because she could not allow her deepest secrets, the hopes and dreams she’d never shared with anyone or the longing for what Wade offered to be real and not just a hopeless dream interfere with her objective, distract her or sway her from her mission.

Too many lives depended on her having the strength to carry out and execute her plan. A mission that had consumed her very existence the moment she’d received that horrifying phone call telling her Thomas would become a free man in a couple short weeks.

She lived the mission. She ate, breathed and slept—the few times she could sleep—the mission and nothing, not even the promise of experiencing the beauty she’d never had and had once wanted more than anything in the world, would interfere with her destiny.

Some would call it revenge. Others would call it retaliation. Few would say justice had been served. But to Eliza, it was none of those things. They didn’t even factor in.

For her, this was love. The love she’d been denied for most of her life but had finally seen it, witnessed it, experienced it for what it truly was. Love was sacrifice. Love was being willing to do anything to protect someone you loved. Love was making the hardest decision you would ever face in a lifetime and then when it was done, knowing you’d do it all over again with no hesitation, no regrets.

Not many would understand Eliza’s reasoning or what it meant to her. But for her, it was simple and uncomplicated. Her task, her mission, the necessary evil she had undertaken without a second thought, no hesitation and no regret was for love.

And there was no sacrifice too great for love.

For Wade.

Oh God. She couldn’t lie to herself anymore. This wasn’t her. She’d always been nothing but honest with herself. Too honest at times. Wade meant something to her. And she was so mixed up, confused and conflicted but above all else, for the first time she felt hope. And damn it, but it felt good. Better than good. And it was Wade who’d given her that gift. It was Wade who put himself out there, made himself vulnerable while she’d held back, refusing to give him back what he gave to her.

He’d told her she mattered. That she was important to him. He cared. About her! God only knew she’d done nothing to merit his regard, the patience and tenderness he displayed.

She’d treated him reprehensibly, and worse, she’d tried to use him. Like he wasn’t human and didn’t have feelings or emotions. She’d erected a concrete wall between them so he couldn’t get in, couldn’t see past the façade she’d spent a decade perfecting. And yet somehow, he’d slipped right past her barriers, had dug deep below the surface of the caustic camouflage she wore like she was born with it and had found the real Eliza beneath all the anger, fear, bullshit and the dozen other roles she donned out of self-preservation and he’d handled the real Eliza with care and so much tenderness and understanding that she ached just remembering it all.

Wade was dark and broodingly handsome, a lethal combination that made women throw themselves at him whenever he walked into a room. He was wealthy with a dangerous edge that only added to his already considerable appeal. He could have any woman he wanted with no more effort than a crook of his finger, so why the hell had he chosen her?

Was he a masochist? What man in their right mind would even consider a woman with so many issues that it