With Every Breath (Slow Burn #4) - Maya Banks Page 0,5
could only be delayed, not avoided.
In some ways . . . She stopped, frozen by the thought as it floated through her mind before she could call it back. Her heart pounded and her palms grew sweaty as she tried to open the door to her car. But she realized that thought had been there since the morning of the phone call. In the instant she’d made her decision, it had been there, only she’d ignored it, refusing to give voice to it. Refusing to acknowledge it because it made her weak, something she’d sworn never to be again.
But she had deserved to die with Thomas. And now, she was fully prepared for her death. It was her punishment. Justice being served, finally, to the fullest. Thomas had been the only one who had paid when he’d been sentenced to life in prison. She hadn’t. But she’d deserved the same punishment and now that she’d sentenced him to death by her own sense of justice, not only was it likely she’d die taking him down, it was no less than she deserved. She embraced it with calm resolution. Didn’t fear it. No longer would she try so hard to avoid the inevitable. Maybe then she would have a semblance of peace and maybe God would grant mercy on her soul for the sins she’d committed when she’d been little more than a child, powerless against the manipulation of an older more experienced man. No, not man. Psychopath. Monster. The kind that only existed in nightmares and horror movies.
The very face of evil.
Only he wasn’t a nightmare. He wasn’t fiction, some book or movie. He was very real.
She yanked open her car door and threw herself inside, backing from her parking spot at the DSS building just as she saw Dane exit the building. She made certain she didn’t make eye contact with him, but she watched from the corner of her eye as he waved in a motion for her to stop. At least by not overtly glancing in his direction, she could plead ignorance when he asked her—and he would—why the hell she’d ignored him.
Oh hell no she wasn’t stopping. When she faced Dane, she had to have her shit together and her best game face on. She accelerated a little too sharply, her tires barking in protest as she barreled from the parking garage. No doubt her esteemed leader, partner—Dane filled many roles at DSS—wanted to interrogate her and that was the last thing she needed. She had seen the looks Dane and the rest of her coworkers cast her way when they thought she wasn’t looking. They were all filled with concern, making her cringe and guilt wash through her all over again. They all knew something was up and that she wasn’t herself, but Dane would know better than anyone. She and Dane had worked together far too long and Dane never missed a goddamn thing.
The man had a way of making a person squirm with a look. No words were necessary. All he’d have to do is stare at her and she’d be blurting her confession with no prompting whatsoever and then he’d lock her up if he had to. No way he’d let her fulfill what she now considered her sacred mission. Her last mission. A mission that was more important than any other she’d ever undertaken.
She chanced a glance in her rearview mirror and grimaced as she saw Dane standing in the middle of the traffic lane to the parking garage, a frown on his face as he stared broodingly after her.
She couldn’t avoid him forever but until she was ready, until she was composed enough to carry off the biggest—only—lie she’d ever told her most trusted friend, she would continue to brush him and the others off and run like a bat out of hell anytime one of them had the opportunity to get her alone.
Just a few more days, she promised herself. A few more days to pull the rest of her plan together, to gather everything she needed and give her carefully orchestrated lie to Dane and then she’d be on her way.
Sorrow gripped her and she briefly closed her eyes before pulling into traffic. It would be the last time she saw any of them, which is why she’d approach Dane after the “state of the union” meeting given the first of every month by either Caleb Devereaux or his brother, Beau, in the offices of DSS.