With Every Breath (Slow Burn #4) - Maya Banks Page 0,120

to continue controlling her. She wrongly took the blame for the deaths of every single one of his victims and that fucks with you.”

“She had nothing to do with their deaths,” Wade exploded. “She had no right to carry that burden for ten goddamn years. She was only sixteen. Sixteen. And she insists on looking at the choices and emotions of a young girl who had nothing, no one to love her, no one who cared, through the eyes of an adult, with an adult’s knowledge.”

Dane nodded. “You and I know that, but she doesn’t. Maybe she never will. Or maybe she’ll finally be at peace now that justice has been rightfully served.”

“Not at the expense of her life,” Wade said fiercely. “I’ll never accept that she has to die in order to find peace. I sure as hell won’t. I’ll never know another goddamn day’s peace knowing she sacrificed her life for mine.”

“She’ll pull through,” Dane said simply. “Eliza simply doesn’t know how to quit.”

But Wade could see the worry and despair, reflections of his own, in Dane’s eyes. Could see it in every single one of her teammates’ expressions. None of them would ever know peace again if Eliza died.

Wade turned back to the window, staring blindly at the sky as the first soft light of dawn appeared on the horizon. He didn’t want to face another sunrise without her. He wanted her to be the last thing he saw when he went to sleep at night and the first thing he saw when he woke the next morning.

She held his heart in the palm of her hands, held his future, his destiny. It all belonged to her, was wrapped up solidly in her and he waited with growing resignation to know her—and his—fate.

The sun rose steadily, dousing the waiting room with bright sunshine, a direct contrast to the black storm of emotions held within. The quiet was driving Wade out of his mind. He was going to go insane if someone didn’t tell him something soon.

But he feared the appearance of hospital personnel even as he waited, on edge, for someone to come. Because if they told him the worst, his heart and soul would die in that moment.

Exhaustion and worry had taken its toll on him, and he finally sank into a chair, leaning forward to bury his face in his hands. He had to hold it together. If he broke, if he let even the first wave of emotion get the better of him, he’d never stop. And so he held rigid in his vigil, mind numb, sorrow wrapped solidly around his battered heart and soul.

Still more hours passed and with it the threads holding Wade’s sanity together grew thinner. No one had moved. No one had eaten or even gotten up to go to the bathroom. No one stood down for a single moment.

Close to noon, a haggard looking man in scrubs appeared in the doorway, exhaustion pronounced in his eyes. When he called for those here for Eliza Cummings, Wade surged to his feet, as did every single other occupant of the room.

Wade was there first, pushing by the others so he stood squarely in front of the surgeon.

“Tell me,” Wade muttered fiercely.

“She made it through surgery,” the doctor said, though there was no real joy or relief in his statement. “I have no idea how the hell she made it. When they brought her in, I gave her less than a five percent chance of surviving the first hour. But she hung on, refusing to give up.”

“Can I see her?” Wade asked hoarsely, afraid to feel hope.

“She isn’t out of the woods yet,” the doctor said grimly. “I don’t want to give you false hope. She could still die. Her condition is critical and she’s on life support. As soon as she’s out of recovery, she’ll be moved to ICU. You can see her then. We’ll just have to take it day by day, but for now, she’s alive.”

No. Surely he wouldn’t be given such hope only to have it snatched from him in the cruelest way possible. His heart pounded and he felt light-headed as relief poured over him. He hadn’t lost her yet. She’d made it through surgery. No way she’d go down after surviving the worst. All she had to do now was recover. Get better. And he’d ensure she did exactly that. He wouldn’t leave her side.

“I’ll have someone come get you when she’s been moved to ICU,”