Evers & Afters (Dare With Me #2) - J.H. Croix Page 0,50
that’s all set. Don’t forget we budgeted that as part of your business plan. The accounting here is more complicated than what you’ve got at your little truck. For now, enjoy your lunch and just breathe. Also, catch me up on Elias.”
My cheeks got hot before I could formulate a reply. Susie burst out laughing. “I knew it!”
“Knew what?”
“That maybe there was a thing with you two.”
I took a breath, willing my blush to fade and knowing it wouldn’t. “Okay, fine, there’s a thing.”
Our sandwiches arrived, and we paused to start eating. Susie only let me have a few bites before she circled her hand in the air.
“Okay, okay. I don’t know what to do about him.”
“How about you fill me in? What’s the status? I know you went to the fundraiser together up in Kenai, but, what else?”
“I’m not gonna give you all the details, but let’s just say he’s great with his hands.”
Susie’s eyes took on a gleam. “Of course he is. He’s got great hands and a hot bod to go with them.”
Her eyes sobered. She must have picked up on the worry spinning inside me. I’d never been great at keeping a straight face. “What is it?” she pressed.
I almost burst into tears and had to take a bite of my sandwich to chew my feelings under control. Bless Susie’s heart, but she let me do that. Much as she could be a pushy, nosy friend, she cared deeply.
After a few bites, I began, “I don’t know. You know I’ve never been good at the casual thing. Which was why it was such a disaster when Joel lied to me, and it ended up being a fucking affair. I really like Elias, and I don’t know what he thinks, or how to handle it.”
“Well, we know Elias isn’t lying to you about who he is. We all know who he is. He’s worked for Flynn for what, five years now?”
“Something like that.” Now came the hard part—being honest with my friend about just how left behind I felt in life. “It’s hard. Because I want to find someone. I want to have kids before it’s too late. I just don’t know if I can trust anyone enough, or myself for that matter. I mean, why would anybody trust me after what happened?”
Susie looked crushed. “Sweetie.” She reached for one of my hands, curling hers over it and squeezing it tightly. “That wasn’t your fault. You didn’t know Joel was married. He didn’t even give you his real name. And, you’re only thirty-two. You have plenty of time to have kids.”
My eyes were stinging again, and she was squeezing my hand a little too hard. She was kind of fierce like that. I managed a shaky smile and knuckled at my tears with my free hand. “You’re kind of hurting my hand,” I said.
Her eyebrows flew up. “Oh! Sorry.” She eased her grip and released my hand.
“I know what you’re saying is true, but it just feels all so impossible. I like Elias, and I know he’s not lying about who he is, but I don’t know if he wants what I want. Maybe he doesn’t want kids. I really want kids. It’s kind of a deal breaker for me.”
Susie paused to take a bite of her sandwich, and that let me know all I needed to know. She actually had to think about her answer. Her opinions were usually flying out like horses at the start of a race.
We ate in silence for a few moments before she replied, “Look, obviously I have no idea if Elias wants kids. But all you can do is try. And it’s better that you know what you want now, than to stumble ahead and find out it’s not a good fit. Plus, catch me on a bad day and I don’t want kids. I’ll give one of mine away when they’re in the middle of a tantrum. No problem.” She waved her hand in the air and rolled her eyes.
I couldn’t help but laugh at that. “True. Ugh. Romance is a pain in the ass.”
“I guess it’s not great to have most of your friends married with kids now, huh?” she pressed gently. Gentle wasn’t really her approach, which again made me feel obnoxiously fragile.
“I’m really happy for all of you. Seriously. But, yeah, I often feel a little behind the times.”