What she didn’t know was that I’d written this song with her in mind. It was about making the biggest mistake of your life, and then doing everything you could to try and make things right.
Changing the subject I asked, “It smells amazing in here. Do I have time to shower before it’s ready?”
“Yeah you’ve got a few minutes.” She turned to stir some rice.
“You know you don’t have to cook for me Em. I can cook you know?”
She shrugged her shoulders. “I don’t mind. I love to cook and it makes me feel productive.”
I nodded, before realizing she couldn’t see me. “Well I really appreciate it. You’re going to need to slow down though. I don’t want you to overexert yourself.”
She turned to the side and said, “I’m fine, promise.”
I bobbed my head a bit and turned to get a change of clothes… and take advantage of another cold shower.
Talk about a girl moment. I didn’t mean to scream when I saw Finn standing behind me, but he’d been so quiet I hadn’t heard him come in. How embarrassing! He’d caught me dancing around and singing like a banshee. I just wanted to hide under my bed except, I couldn’t fit under my bed anymore. That thought made me want to cry. Stupid pregnancy hormones!
While I set the table for dinner, I heard the bathroom door open. I tip toed over to peak down the hall. I caught a glimpse of Finn in just a towel, with his back glistening with water droplets before he walked into his room and shut the door. What a really nice back, I giggled to myself. Harper and I always would laugh while we watched TV shows on The CW and the cute guys would have their shirts off. We’d say things like, “That’s a really great back” or “Oh I’d touch that arm.” But the back I just watched walk away, was something more than ‘nice’. Finn was broad and muscled, with tattoos on his shoulder blades and a partial sleeve going down his left arm. I wanted to lick those tattoos… after I licked all the water off his body.
Finn’s voice snapped me out of my highly inappropriate daydream. “Em? You okay there? You’re kind of staring off in space.” The man I’d been fantasizing about was now standing in front of me with his hands on my upper arms, neck slightly bent to look me in the eyes. Why did he have to smell so damn edible?
I cleared my throat and said, “Oh, yeah, I’m fine. Just thinking, that’s all.” Holy mess, I needed to get rid of this sexual tension. I need to get out my pregnancy book and see if the added hormones are fucking with my libido too.
“Anything you care to share?”
“Ummm…no! Let’s just have dinner. I was about to go grab the salmon.” I practically ran from the room. When I came back, he was already seated and was looking at his phone. He seemed perturbed. He was so focused on whatever he was looking at that he hadn’t even noticed that I’d come back into the room. When I pulled the chair out and it scraped across the floor, he jumped and set his phone—face down—on the table.
“Now who’s the one that seems distracted?” I smiled at him.
“Oh, I’m not distracted. Just some stuff going on back in California that needs my attention.” He winked at me and dug in. “So have you heard from your lawyer this week?”
I was still uncomfortable talking to Finn about my divorce, but he was genuinely interested and he wanted to support me. “Yes actually, I have. It’s funny you asked about it because I just got the final papers. They don’t mention the baby at all. Just that West has added more to my monthly alimony. I have no idea why he feels the need to give me so much though. I never asked him for anything, well besides helping me take care of my medical expenses.”
“You’re kidding right? Didn’t you say he told you he used you throughout your marriage?” Finn sounded aggravated.
“Well… yes, but that doesn’t mean that I need all of that money.”
“It also doesn’t mean that you don’t deserve the money Em. That fucking prick cheated on you and you walked in on it. Nobody deserves that.”
I sighed and my shoulders slumped. Raising my eyes to Finn’s, I addressed the one issue he had yet to acknowledge. "I think you’ve forgotten that I cheated