And sure I have Blair here, but I don’t want to constantly encroach on her holiday, it is a second honeymoon after all. I can’t help but be aware that it is always me calling her; she must be getting sick of all my problems by now.
Of course there was Carlos, but I’ve just hammered the last nail into that coffin, so now it’s just me, all alone in a foreign country. I miss my home and my Caz and even my job! I miss everything that’s familiar, good old constants that at least create the illusion of my life being comfy and safe.
For the first time since arriving I actually can’t wait to get home and not because I’m running away, or I feel like I have to go, but because Iwant to be home; Mexico has helped me get over Jake, which was the whole point of coming in the first place and now I want to go home and forget all about this holiday.
Subconsciously I pick up the phone and dial Caz, it’s about 10pm back home, so at least she’ll be up this time.
“Kate! How are you? Last time we spoke you were all loved up, so are you ringing to tell me your getting married, or your pregnant?” she laughs, completely unaware of how much she has just put her foot in it. I’m half tempted not to tell her; if it wasn’t for the fact that I want her to pick me up from the airport tomorrow night.
“Actually it’s all fallen apart” I try to get out the story as quickly as possible before my emotions can catch up with me.
“Oh God Kate, that’s awful, of course I’ll come get you when you arrive, but are you sure you want to just pack up and go? I mean have you even spoken to him since?” I smile inwardly at how she is so similar to Blair.
“I’m sure. All in all, if you excuse the obvious hiccups, I’ve had a wonderful time, but I’m ready to come home now.”
“Well ok, but promise me you’ll sleep on it. There must be day trips you can go on, so you don’t have to worry about seeing him all the time. I just don’t want you to regret losing out on this holiday because of a man. You’ve spent enough years doing that with Jake.”
“I know, I know. I will think about it and call you if I change my mind” but somehow, I doubt I will.
After we’ve said our goodbyes I’m left even more homesick than I started, I’m half tempted to go to the airport and wait for any cancellations that might allow me to get back sooner. I’m all cried out now, I think at least; I just feel hollow.
It’s only half past four now, the sun is still shining brightly, but I don’t want to do anything, just lay here wallowing in my misery. And anyway I need to be in just incase Carlos calls; Blair should have given him the letter by now, so he should come round, or at least call, in theory anyway.
I’m still feeling a little woozy from the cocktails we had on the beach, the other jug is sat on the bedside table staring at me. The blue liquid which was once a fruity, exotic beverage, now tastes sickly sweet and makes my stomach churn.
Walking over, I pick it up and dispose of it down the sink in the bathroom, turning the immaculate white bowl the colour of the sky for an instant before it drains away.
What now? The room only offers so much entertainment and if I’m leaving tomorrow I want to make the most of the sun while I’ve still got the chance. I’m not in the mood for the Jacuzzi, it will only make me think about last time I was in there, which in turn will only make me think of Carlos, not that I’m able to stop thinking about him now.
I pick up my book, the one I thought I’d never get a chance to read, and head for the hammock; the golden afternoon sun is still soaking the balcony and this way I can bask in it, but still hear the phone if Carlos does call. God I hope he calls.
My book is a crime novel, perfect to get stuck into and take my mind off it, the characters are sure to be having a worse time of it than me. Opening the