but then why would he still be so angry when we’re alone now?
Eventually I fall into a restless sleep, waking once at 3am to notice Carlos’s side of the bed still vacant. By the time I surface the next morning the house is empty. There is a note on the breakfast bar, but it lacks any kind of care and warm fuzzy words that adorned his previous ones –‘I had to go to work, I’ll be back later, Carlos x’only one kiss and nothing sweet, this one will not be saved with the others.
So this is it, the beginning of the end; all the signs are there, he’s avoiding me, practically giving me the silent treatment when we are together. How could something so wonderful fall apart so easily? And why? I haven’t done anything wrong, that I know of, he didn’t seem too happy about his brother coming to stay, but that’s nothing to do with me. Maybe it was just meeting his parents, Mari had mentioned that they had never met any of his other women, that he never even spent more than one night with any of them. So it must have just got too real last night and now he wants to back out; it has moved very fast, I mean I know it’s not a permanent arrangement, but I am effectively living with him. I’ve only known him nine days after all, that’s moving fast by anyone’s standard.
God I should have just stuck to the three time rule, that way we could have both had our fun and then carried on as if it never happened; instead now here I am, five times later and destined for a heart wrenching break up and then another week and a half here, spent dreading bumping into him. That’s no way to spend a luxury holiday, I might as well just go home, maybe if I speak to Carla she will understand and let me have a refund for the last week?
I’m dwelling on morbid thoughts, I need to get out of my head, I call Blair and arrange to see her, today she is going to a towel origami class, while John goes on a fishing expedition. I smile, of all the classes she could do, she is spending the morning making animals from towels, brilliant. I agree to join her, it should be a laugh at least.
We meet at 10am in the same hall I did the Salsa lesson in, great start to my ‘not thinking about Carlos’ day.
We are split into pairs, I’m relieved when Blair clings to my arm, assuring that we are paired together and set up on tables that form a semicircle around where the instructor stands. Each table is laden with two stacks of towels in assorted sizes, stickers of eyes and mouths and a bunch of flowers tied together with an elastic band.
As we are being taken through the steps to create an elephant, I confide in Blair about my predicament with Carlos. She ponders on it for a while and then speaks gently, “Do you think that maybe, you might be overreacting, just a little? I mean, he could be moody about anything really, it doesn’t really sound like you have any basis to think it’s you?”
“I guess, it’s just the way he’s being with me, don’t you think it’s a bit weird?”
“Well yes, but when John has a bad day at work he can get like that with me, all insular and sullen for a few days, but then he soon gets over it. I tend to just leave him to it and when he feels better he can come find me, with flowers” she laughs and I join her, she makes it sound so inconsequential.
“I guess you’re right” I say, genuinely happier about it.
“You need to talk to him, just ask like you don’t care either way, say ‘if I’m getting in the way here I can go back to my room, it’s no problem’” she mimics my English accent badly.
“Ha-ha, OK, I’m not sure I can do an accent like that, but I’ll try”.
We are instructed to give the elephant making a go ourselves, but I’ve been so distracted by our conversation that I barely heard a word of the demonstration; Blair on the other hand has already started tightly rolling a medium sized towel, I feel like I’m at school, unprepared for an exam, so I’m copying the smart girl next to me.