know how to tie it. I mean, I know how, but not today. I’ve been trying all morning and it’s like my hands just forgot. So, could you?” He looked back up at the ceiling and puffed his chest out again, waiting.
Devon sighed. “Don’t take this the wrong way, but you live with at least twenty other guys. Wouldn’t asking any one of them make more sense?”
Matt gave her a weak smile. “Today doesn’t exactly make sense.”
Devon smiled back. He didn’t need to say anything else. “Lemme just look it up, I’ve never done this before.” She flipped her laptop open again and pulled up an instructional video. “Okay, I just grab here.…” She pulled at the tie ends. “Wait, this is backward. Here, you gotta sit.” Devon guided Matt to sit on her bed. She knelt behind him, hands draped over his shoulders as she tried to follow the video.
Matt’s foot tapped on the floor. Devon could smell his cologne. She had never been this close to Matt before. It struck her: Any freshman girl would trade places with Devon in a second. This was Matt Dolgens, gorgeous, cool, beyond connected, beyond rich, beyond everything and everyone. Except that now he couldn’t tie his own tie. She finished the last loop and gave him a final pat on the chest.
“There. That should do the trick,” she said.
“Wait.” Matt grabbed her hands and wrapped them across his chest. Devon knew he didn’t want her to let go. She felt the same. She just wanted someone to hold her close, make her feel like this Hutch darkness wouldn’t trap her alone forever. She leaned forward, resting her chin on Matt shoulder and shut her eyes tightly. He squeezed her back.
For what seemed like a very long time, they sat together on her bed in a silent embrace, breathing in the same rhythm. Devon looked at the clock. 9:55 A.M. Gently she pulled away. “It’s time to go,” she whispered. She leaned back, sitting back on her heels. Matt leaned forward and adjusted his shoes, shiny black oxfords; he’d probably never worn them before.
There was a spot of green paper poking out of his pants pocket. Devon swallowed. It would be wrong to take it; Matt would hate her and they’d just shared a moment—something real and profound. Matt wasn’t faking. He was in pain. But … Hutch. They were on the way to his funeral. If a stolen scrap of green paper did anything to explain why Hutch was being buried today, it would be worth it.
Devon rubbed Matt’s back while he was still leaning over. With her right hand she slipped two fingers into his pocket and pulled out the green scrap. Matt turned around to face her. She quickly smiled at him and palmed the paper. “You know, Hutch was right about you,” he said with a genuine smile. He stood up and held out a hand. She froze. Had he seen what she’d done? Play dumb. That usually works. She offered her left hand and Matt helped her up from the bed.
“Thanks for the help with the tie and all,” he said.
Devon nodded. She took Matt’s hand and led him through the glass doors, tucking the crinkled green paper into her pocket.
“Let’s make him proud,” she whispered.
THE CROWD OUTSIDE THE Keaton Chapel was even bigger than Devon had expected. Seniors, juniors, most of the sophomores, and even a few freshmen lingered on the grass outside, still wet from the morning dew. Mr. Robins chatted with a circle of students, his red tie sticking out in an ocean of black. Devon quickly dropped her hand from Matt’s before he spotted her.
“I gotta say hi to the family,” Matt said to Devon. “See ya in there.”
He wandered to the chapel entrance where Hutch’s parents stood side by side with Hutch’s older brother, Eric. At Family Weekend events over the past two years Devon remembered seeing Hutch’s mom, Mitzi, always at the side of his father, Bill. Mitzi wore a black pencil skirt with matching black blazer, probably Chanel. Everything was fitted to highlight her small frame, Pilates-sized within an ounce of perfection. Her hair was a deep walnut color, too deep and dark to be natural for a woman in her fifties. Devon fought to push the judgmental thoughts out of her head. Mitzi was at her son’s funeral. She wondered what it must have been like for Mitzi to get dressed for this morning. Bill, too, for that matter.