nothing her parents were probably bragging about. But Kaylyn had left her mark regardless. Everyone left a mark.
Devon drifted back to her session with Cleo. Hutch had left much more than a song quote behind; he’d left a girl pregnant. A piece of Hutch was still out there. Maybe Devon could help this girl. That’s what Hutch was attempting to do by stealing the pregnancy test, wasn’t it? Make sure you’re looking at what’s really there, not what you want to see. At this point Hutch was a drug-dealing, girl-knocker-upper, whether she wanted to see it or not. But underneath the secrets he kept, Devon was still certain that she knew who he was. The drugs, this pregnancy, his suicide, they wouldn’t be his legacy. Couldn’t be. Hutch was more than his mistakes.
Devon grabbed a pen out of her bedside table and wrote the words above her, digging them into the soft wooden shelf. Tracing and re-tracing each letter.
Hutch was here.
* “At the beginning of sessions, it’s important that the Counselor has a look of expectancy, inviting the subject to talk.” —Peer Counseling Pilot Program Training Guide by Henry Robins, MFT
† Section V: Self-Awareness. “The Peer Counselor should always strive to keep his/her own emotions and motivations at bay during a session.”—Peer Counseling Pilot Program Training Guide by Henry Robins, MFT
‡ “Try to end every session with a positive affirmation of the work you’ve done together.”
—Peer Counseling Pilot Program Training Guide by Henry Robins, MFT
CHAPTER 4
Name: Devon Mackintosh
Session Date: Sept. 15
Referred by: Mr. Robins
Reason for Session: Peer Counselor Review
“We just want to make sure this doesn’t escalate from here,” Mr. Robins said. He used his teeth to rip off the top of a disposable lens wipe packet. The silver wrapping crinkled, and the alcohol-soaked paper instantly assaulted Devon’s nose. She squeezed her nose to stifle the rising sneeze. “Suicide clusters tend to happen in smaller communities. And when you add a personality like Jason’s, well, we just want to make sure no one follows in his footsteps.” Devon nodded.
Mr. Robins took off his glasses and wiped them down. In four precise moves his glasses were clean and back on his face. “So? How do you think we’re doing?” He looked up at her.
“Um.…” Devon couldn’t get past “suicide clusters.” Really? That’s what was worrying Mr. Robins? The huge amount of prescription pill abuse, rampant under the faculty’s nose, was maybe a better place to start. But Devon couldn’t tell him that. Suicide Clusters? It sounded so serious, so blown out of proportion. And when things were blown out of proportion that meant one thing at Keaton: parents. Of course. The parents must have been calling in droves, panicked that whatever had happened to Hutch could happen to their kid.
“I think we’re doing well,” she finally said. “Matt and Isla were the closest to Hutch, and I don’t think suicide is in their immediate plans.” Devon wiped her sweaty palms on her jeans. What if she was wrong? Could she be sure Isla wasn’t going to take a handful of pills? I hope not. Was that really enough to rely on right now? “I’m not seeing any red flag behavior.”*
“How is Isla doing? She was quite visibly upset the other day.”
“Isla’s okay. She’s sad, of course, but I’m checking in with her a lot. She had a bit of an anxiety attack before our first session, but I, um.…” Devon’s thoughts drowned out her voice. Isla had all those pills. The alias to get more pills. Devon could turn her over to Mr. Robins right now and let him worry about her. But she knew that Isla trusted her.
“But you?” He opened his notebook and scribbled something Devon couldn’t see.
“Huh? Oh, but, she and Hutch already broke up over the summer so she wasn’t technically his girlfriend when he died. Just in case that mattered for your notes.” Devon took a deep breath and opened her own notebook. “I was wondering, do you have any suggestions for what to say when anyone asks about how much training I’ve had? That one’s been a little tough to answer.”
“Well, that’s part of this experiment. You’re their peer, you’re not meant to be a professional. They can come to me if they want a professional. That’s why I have the MFT after my name, see?” He pulled a business card from his blazer to prove the obvious point. Again, Devon contained the urge to roll her eyes. “When they ask I would say it’s