Equal of the Sun A Novel - By Anita Amirrezvani Page 0,93
he will face few rivals when he grows up.”
“But what if the killings never stop?”
Balamani adjusted his heavy body against the pillows and repositioned his leg far from any obstacle.
“Javaher, be careful. The Shah has spared his sisters, but there is no telling if he will continue to believe that they won’t harm him. As Pari’s vizier, you could be in grave danger as well.”
I decided to take a risk. I leaned close to him and whispered, “Why should a viper be permitted to rule?”
Balamani laughed out loud. “He is the shadow of God on earth, remember?”
“Do you believe this one walks in the shadow of God?”
“Do any of them?”
Panah bar Khoda! I had never heard him speak this way before.
“Men must have their fictions,” he added. “If the Shah is not God’s shadow, what reason is there for the elders to obey him? Which man’s word would be taken as final unless it were somehow tied to God’s?”
“That is not how it is supposed to be,” I argued. “We offer our loyalty in return for justice, remember?”
“Of course,” he replied. “But when there is no justice, who suffers?”
“Right now, many people,” I said through gritted teeth.
Balamani’s eyes grew tender. “I was very sorry to hear about Mahmood.”
“Thank you.”
My eyes moistened as if a spring had just been loosed behind them. Knowing that Balamani was one of the few souls in the world to whom I could show my true feelings, I bent my head and let flow my sorrow.
“May God give you strength in your suffering,” he said gently. “Remember what I told you long ago? Never, ever love any of the royals.”
I wiped my face with one of Pari’s handkerchiefs and composed myself. “Mahmood is part of the reason I came to talk with you. I have a mission, and I need help.”
“What is it?”
“Is there any way to prompt Hassan to beg the Shah to be merciful and stop the killings?”
“Hard to say,” Balamani replied. “He spends day and night with the Shah, so no one can get close to him. That is his job.”
“I need to find out more about him.”
Balamani looked at me as if reading the thoughts imprinted on my soul. “You, the tender young agha whose tongue seemed as absent as his keer, are now involved in palace intrigue?”
“I won’t speak of intrigue,” I said, “only of wishing to capture Hassan’s ear.”
“Still attached to his head, I hope.”
“Of course.”
“Yet something smells ill.”
“Your foot?”
Balamani snorted. “What information do you need?”
“How to reach him,” I insisted, although what I really wanted was Balamani’s help with our plans.
He paused. “Not even Hassan is going to succeed in convincing the Shah to be just.”
“You may be right,” I replied. “But shouldn’t we try?”
“No.”
“Why not?”
“We aren’t going to do anything. I am old now. I don’t wish to be like that eunuch who lost his life just days before his time came to retire and swim in the waters of Bengal.”
“But, Balamani, there is a madman in our midst. We could all be cut down.”
“No.”
“I will be your eyes and ears—and your feet,” I said. “You will direct me and I will carry out this business.”
“Too dangerous.”
“But I can’t do it without you,” I insisted. “How can you obstruct what you know to be right?”
Balamani was watching me closely. “Ah, my friend, you still don’t know.”
“What?”
“What you are.”
“What am I?”
“You are me.”
I was taken aback.
“Yes,” he said, “I have taught you all I know, and now I pass my place to you.” He leaned over and slapped my chest. I felt a surge there, which heated me to the top of my head.
“Balamani—”
“You have earned it. What you don’t know yet, you will learn. It is time for you to be master.”
“But, Balamani—” I said, feeling like a disciple whose master has abandoned him too soon. It was a strangely lonely yet buoyant sensation, like being released on the wind and flying high above the earth, as free as a cloud.
“Everything I am, I owe to you,” I said in a voice I didn’t trust.
“God sent you to me,” Balamani replied humbly. “He said, ‘Take this proud, shattered child and make him whole.’”
“That was asking a great deal, wasn’t it?”
His smile was pained, like that of a parent helping his child through a devastating illness.
“Indeed. But don’t imagine that your quest is complete. What have you discovered lately about your father?”
The sudden look of enthusiasm in his eyes surprised me. It was as if he were goading me