Equal of the Sun A Novel - By Anita Amirrezvani Page 0,42
the curse. He will marry a few noblewomen to cement his political alliances, but I am the first woman he will take into his bed. Sultanam has consulted auguries and believes I will bear him sons. She has ordered me to wear charms and report on our activities—busybody that she is!”
“She won’t have such influence over the noblewomen he marries, who will have their own mothers to advise them,” I said. “And she will be happy to give you to her son, because she knows firsthand the loveliness of your character.”
“I have done my best, even when I didn’t wish to be a servant.”
“This is your just reward.” I felt my throat tighten again with sorrow.
“Insh’Allah. Javaher, you are kind. You always have been.”
“My beloved, your absence will leave a hole in my heart. I—”
My voice stopped dead in my throat, my grief so consuming that I could not continue. Khadijeh pressed her face against mine, and the tear that slid down her cheek coursed over my own. We clung to one another as if it were possible to remain joined forever.
Khadijeh reached for my sash and pulled it open. The sheep’s balls I had eaten seemed to stir in my blood, and I put my hands on her collarbones and lifted the clothes off her body. I removed my robe, tunic, trousers, and turban, and pushed her gently back into the cushions. I started with small bites on her buttocks, teasing the soft, generous flesh. I traveled to her ears and plundered them with kisses, then teased her lips with my tongue. I skipped, for the moment, the parts of her that were crying out for me, and visited the soles of her feet. I sucked and nibbled, and I began to hear Khadijeh’s breath rise until it sounded almost as if she might lose herself right then. I journeyed back across her calves and thighs to return to her breasts, so round and firm, and kissed the rubies that surmounted them. She rolled gently from side to side, thrusting first one breast at me, then the other.
When I was sated, I traveled farther down, kneeled in front of her, lifted her legs onto my shoulders, and began drinking at her trough. I started with teasing, flicking movements, and then as she became crazed, I became very slow, licking her with my full flat tongue, pressing my nose into her stream-filled cave, and finally, when her eyes looked as glassy as if she had consumed a strong cup of bang, I reached out to her nipples and stroked them with great gentleness. She became as wet and fertile as an oasis, and I felt as if I were drinking the milk and honey of paradise. Then I let my tongue become fleet, surprising her, and before long, Khadijeh’s legs began trembling and jerking so hard, I was almost thrown. Her eyes rolled back in her head, and her hands clutched at the cushions. I held her gently until she was through.
She remained motionless for a while, and all I could hear was her soft breathing. Then she rolled her body against mine and held me.
“Your place will be empty,” she said.
A profound sadness washed over me as I imagined how many women I would meet, only to have to say goodbye to them when they found someone to marry. Most women crave children, and that was the one thing I could not provide. Yet I was still a man, wasn’t I?
When she had rested, Khadijeh attended to me. In her embrace, caught up by the scent of frankincense in her hair and the things her mouth could do, I was able to forget for a moment what I was about to lose.
It was close to dawn—far too close—when we were finally done. I rushed to put on my trousers as well as the rest of my clothes. Then I arose and said my tender goodbyes, touching her hyacinth curls as I took my leave.
“When will you return?” she asked.
“Never.”
“Never?” Her eyes looked hurt. Being promised to the shah had not stopped Khadijeh from risking everything to see me. I was grateful that she still cared.
“It is too dangerous, especially for you. We can’t risk any suspicion now that you have been claimed.”
I leaned over her and laid my palms tenderly against the sides of her neck, feeling her heart’s pulse in my fingers.
“I will always think of you,” I said, “and will hope for your happiness.”