Equal of the Sun A Novel - By Anita Amirrezvani Page 0,162
a sudden, and I wiped them with the cloth that I still kept tucked inside my sash. It was Pari’s silk handkerchief, and the sight of it only made me feel worse.
Fereshteh’s eyes searched my face. “Did you love her?”
“Yes,” I said, “in the way that a soldier loves a good commander or a nobleman loves a just shah.”
“I understand. May this be your final sorrow!”
“Thank you.”
“It is a terrible loss. What will you do now?”
“I don’t know. I must wait to see what plans they have for me at the palace. Balamani said he would try to help me.”
“I hope you receive favor. In the meantime, I have heard some useful news,” Fereshteh continued. “Mirza Salman has just gotten married.”
“Oh?” I said.
“His wife’s name is Nasreen Khatoon.”
I snorted with disgust. “She spied on me and accused me of wrongdoing, which could have gotten me killed. Have she and Mirza Salman been working together all this time?”
“I presume so.”
“They deserve each other.”
“Mirza Salman doesn’t expect to be faithful to her, of course.”
Everyone knew that a nobleman could have several wives and keep as many other women as he could afford. Why had Fereshteh bothered to mention that?
“Come now: What are you saying?”
She was watching me very closely. “He has made me an offer.”
“Of marriage?”
“Of upkeep. He has promised to pay all my expenses if I serve him alone—in which case I could see you no more.”
I felt a violent surge of anger in my chest. “Does fate strew the man’s path with nothing but roses? A high posting, the removal of Pari, a well-placed wife, and now all your beauty? Good God! Why doesn’t he offer to marry you?”
“You know very well that noblemen don’t marry prostitutes.”
“He is a princess-killer, and he has tried to thwart me at every turn. How could you even consider him?”
“What other options do I have?”
“You said you wished to retire.”
“This is the only form of retirement I have ever been offered.”
I couldn’t stand hearing about him anymore. I leapt up, strode to the door, and thrust my feet into my shoes, hard with anger.
“How is his offer different from prostitution?”
“How is any marriage different?”
“That is ridiculous.”
I stopped in my tracks and turned to look at her, a cruel comment on my lips. She raised her hands as if in protection. The warning look in her large eyes stopped my tongue.
“Javaher, I must think about what is best for my daughter. More than anything, I wish to relinquish my profession.”
I paused. “What would you do if you had some money?”
“I would set about making myself respectable by learning a craft so that I could earn money another way. When my daughter is grown, I wish her to marry a kind man from a good family. There is no chance of that unless I can show the world a new face.”
She looked sad, and I thought about how no one had been able to save either one of us from our fate. What if, through the blessings of good fortune, we were able to save those who came after us? Only then would it seem as if our lives had been redeemed. What happiness we would feel if we could shelter our young ones from the lives we had endured!
I kicked off my shoes and sat down again, sighing.
“Fereshteh, I apologize for my outburst. Perhaps there is a way we can help each other. Pari left me a mill, but Mirza Salman won’t allow me to claim it. I need something damning about him in order to force his hand. If I can get ownership of it, I promise I will help you. The mill does well, and people always need its services. Its income would help you get started in a new life. I would like to be able to thank you for all your help, and I know that Pari would wish to do the same.”
Her whole face brightened with hope. “How grateful I would feel to be in charge of my own person! I would never have to touch one of those things again.”
I couldn’t help a wry smile.
“Why don’t you ask the Shah for help with the mill when you are called in about your new posting?”
“Mohammad Shah gave Khalil Khan all of Pari’s money as a reward for her murder. I doubt he would feel compelled to fulfill any of her last wishes.”
Fereshteh thought for a long time. I watched her face and was surprised to see what looked like strong