Entangled (The Accidental Billionaires #2) - J. S. Scott Page 0,41
damn treacherous dick. It wasn’t that all of me didn’t want that, too. But not now. Not until she was comfortable.
It was obvious to me that Skye was used to any kind of touch being ugly, savage, and cruel.
I wanted to teach her pleasure again. But I couldn’t do that until she completely trusted me.
And I wasn’t about to let my cock do my thinking.
“I wish you had never stayed with that bastard,” I said before I could monitor my words. “I mean, I get why you did. You were worried about Maya’s safety, and your own. But fuck, Skye. You didn’t deserve what happened to you.”
My vision clouded with rage just thinking about some man touching her with anything except devotion, love, or passion.
Hell, if I wanted to be honest, I couldn’t stand the thought of another guy touching her at all.
But the way Marino had treated her was callous and heartless.
“If there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that life isn’t always fair,” she said with a resigned sigh. “Was it fair that your mother died when you were all so young? Was it fair that you had to struggle financially to raise your siblings and essentially lose your own childhood? Was it fair that you couldn’t chase your dreams as an adult?”
“That’s different. None of us were physically hurt.”
“Sometimes the other stuff is worse than the physical pain,” she said wisely. “It lasts a hell of a lot longer.”
She was right. I knew she was. “Why didn’t you tell me that you suffered from PTSD before? What are your triggers?”
After getting her off in the hot tub, watching the beauty of her face as she reached her climax, leaving her alone in her bed had been one of the hardest things I’d ever done. But I hadn’t known what to do. I didn’t want to screw up the progress we’d already made.
Over the last few days, I’d been studying PTSD, and I still didn’t know what scared her.
Of course, she wasn’t easy to read, since she buried her emotions.
She was different from the girl I knew so long ago, yet some things remained the same.
Like the way she tangled my dick up in knots.
“I’m better,” she murmured against my shoulder. “I went through counseling, and I worked on the issues myself. I didn’t want to have a million little triggers. It wasn’t healthy, especially for Maya.”
“This isn’t about Maya. This is about you. What scares you, sweetheart?” Jesus! I really wanted to know.
“Not much triggers my reactions anymore. Really. I’m okay.”
So she was going to blow it off?
“If I can’t touch you without you having flashbacks, you’re not okay.”
“You’re touching me now,” she pointed out in a soft voice.
“You know what I mean.” Hell, I didn’t want to sound like a dick, but I wanted so much more information than she apparently wanted to give up.
“If something bothers me, I’ll always tell you from now on.”
“You better,” I warned.
It was so damn hard to be pissed off at her. She’d been through hell, and the last thing she needed was for me to push her.
“Maybe we should just have sex,” she whispered. “Maybe it would help.”
Shock kept me silent. “What did you just say?”
“You heard me.”
“You think that’s the answer?” I said, my voice sounding raw.
No way was I ever going to say no to her offer. I couldn’t. I wanted her too damn much. But I wasn’t sure this was the way it should happen.
“Marry me and we’ll have as much sex as you want. Any way you want,” I offered.
I was grateful when Xander floated into another ballad so I could keep Skye exactly where she was. But I was holding my breath, just waiting for her answer.
I was done denying that I didn’t want this marriage for myself. That I wanted it for Maya. I wanted the woman in my arms more than I’d ever wanted anything else in my life. Selfishly. Just because I needed her to be mine.
It wasn’t for my daughter, although it would be nice if we could be a real family.
I wanted Skye.
Period.
“Sex first,” she murmured. “What if I can’t do it? And I already told you that I don’t want to be married again.”
“You weren’t married the first time. Not a real marriage, anyway.”
Skye hadn’t had a marriage. She’d been a jailed detainee.
“I need to be whole again, Aiden. I don’t know what I’ll want after that, but I need to be completely free of my past.”