on that student! The only wrong in this case is the one that he committed! The only injustice is that he wasn’t called to account for it at the time!”
“I don’t want to talk to you.” Her chin trembles, and I remind myself that this screwed-up young woman will be a mother in a few months’ time.
“I can well believe that. I tried to help you, and you tried to shame me in front of all my colleagues.” I lean forward on my elbows, chin in hand. “Luckily I am not ashamed of loving Giles Cleveland, and although I’d much rather make love to him in private, I am fair enough to admit that if I make love to him in public places, I risk public attention.”
Now she is staring at me with a mixture of disbelief and fascination.
“I’m not ashamed of loving Nick, either!” she announces, like a creed.
“Selena, your bad luck was to be seduced by a man with a lot of experience and no scruples. He broke through your defenses, which was necessary and liberating, but it’s still only sex. You want to love a better man, don’t you?”
“I do love him!” She jumps up, and I sense that this is the one thing that makes her feel on firm ground.
“I know you do. Big feelings, big words. God’s words.”
Her rigid posture relaxes a little. “You—you know about the—” She bites her lip.
“The graffiti? Yes. I’m sorry, Selena.”
“And will you tell?”
“That’s hardly your most pressing problem!”
“What?”
“Your belly is beginning to show,” I inform her matter-of-factly.
Now she is scared. She takes a step back and bumps against the wall, her arms crossed protectively in front of her.
“It isn’t! How do you know about that? How do you know that?” Her cheeks are bright red.
“I talked to Karen Walsh about you. You stole her pregnancy tests.”
“Did she tell my mother?”
“Don’t you think that if she had, you’d know?”
“Anyway, it’s too late for an abortion!”
“Selena, for heaven’s sake!” I explode. “How old are you? If you want to have this child, have this child! Move out of your parents’ house. Break up with them, if need be. Bring the child up on welfare. But stop kidding yourself that you love a man who has fucked and ditched more students than you or I have teeth in our mouths!”
Now she is just staring at me, apparently speechless with emotion, her hands still shielding her belly.
“Tell me, Selena, does Natalie know about you and Nick? Does she know about the baby? Is that—God, I’m so slow! Is that why she reported Nick? To get revenge?”
Selena nods, her cheeks flaming. I think she is going to burst into tears, and I almost hope she will, to release her pent-up feelings.
“But that means that Nick knows about the baby, too. What does he—”
“He doesn’t!” she insists hotly. “At least…I don’t know. I didn’t tell him.”
“You didn’t—oh, Selena. Why do you torture yourself like this? Are you worried he’ll ditch you if he finds out you’re having his baby? Selena! How will you get out of this mess? You need help.”
“I don’t need help!”
“That’s right. You’re managing brilliantly on your own.”
“I hate you! I hate you!”
For a crazy moment I think she is going to attack me, but she grabs the bunch of keys on her desk and runs out of the room, slamming the door. I run after her, and I can just see her disappear up the spiral staircase into the dome. Steve opens his door.
“What’s all the—oh. Hey.”
We look at each other, and I can tell by his twisted grin that he has seen the photo.
“Embarrassed?” I ask as I walk past him toward the staircase. “Join the club.”
“I’m not the one with cum on my skirt,” he mutters. “Or with pickled herring on my office door.”
His provocation would be like water off a duck’s back, but something in his manner makes me stop and turn back.
“What do you know about the herring, Steve?”
“What don’t I know about the herring?”
“You? You did that?” I know I look stupid, but I am beyond caring about looking stupid.
“No, I didn’t.” He hesitates. “I didn’t. But then you didn’t tell me that I behave like a territorial tomcat.”
Of course. How could I have been so slow? I always knew it wasn’t Madeline Harrison.
“Well, you can tell Dolph that he is the least of my problems. And congratulations for showing so unambiguously that he didn’t deserve the job he didn’t get.”