to confess emotional hang-ups to a prospective teacher meets fuck-buddy.
Or whatever he and Judd were about to become.
6
In the Den Again
Judd now knew it was possible to ache with pain for someone else. He wondered how he could make sex not just bearable but joyful for this fragile being across from him. It would be safest to temper enforcer aggression with passivity. The last thing he wanted was to scare Colin in any way. Unfortunately, passive didn’t come easy to him.
Judd lay back on the couch. He stared up at the ceiling. He let one arm flop to the floor and the other wedge between his body and the couch back. Belly exposed – playful and vulnerable.
He kept the need out of his voice. “So come here. Lie on top of me. I won’t hold you too tight. I won’t confine any part of you. I’ll just lie under you.”
“Like a mattress?” Colin’s voice was shaky, but he moved to Judd. Cautious as a kitten in a new place. Eager as a kitten, too.
“Like reassurance. I’m here because I want to be near you. You can do what you will with me and with that sentiment. You cannot hurt me, Gingersnap. I mean to prove that I will not hurt you. And I will not ignore you either.”
“So I’ll know what that feels like too?”
“Exactly.”
“It’s a good approach. How’d you get so wise?”
“I’ve been around a long time, remember?”
Slowly, Colin lowered himself to lie on top of Judd. He gifted Judd with all of his weight. It wasn’t a lot, but also it was, because his Gingersnap was pressed against him from neck to calves. They were both still hard from that kiss. Colin was tense and not just sexually. He was nervous but he was trying.
“It’s not too much for you?” Colin asked. Ridiculous question.
“See how I suffer?” Judd arched his hips so Colin could feel his interest. Colin needed to know that Judd wasn’t indifferent. That he wasn’t just playing along for the sake of friendship. He was passive, but he was also engaged.
“Oh yes,” Colin gave a tentative body wiggle.
Judd realized that this kid might actually be the death of him. He’d gotten himself into a situation where everything would depend on his control. He had to be patient and wise and gentle. Yet Judd was an enforcer. He’d never been anything more than an enforcer. He’d wanted more – the patience of a Beta, the control of an Alpha. But he was over a hundred years old, and he was still only an enforcer. Wolves don’t learn new rank. It was genetically coded in, like the color of their fur. Yet now Judd was setting himself up to lean on strengths he didn’t have. Colin was going to test him to the limit.
Colin wiggled again.
Judd felt a nicely sized dick press against his own. Which was, of course, one of Judd’s biggest weaknesses. He loved a twink with a big cock, the juxtaposition of fragility and weaponized pleasure. Also, Judd really loved getting fucked. He wasn’t ready to confess that yet. It destroyed his image. He was an enforcer with a reputation to maintain. But now he was looking forward to that part of Colin’s education even more.
No doubt Colin assumed that Judd would top. Colin had a messed-up perception of gay dynamics. Judd liked that too, just not as much. He intended to show Colin carefully and thoroughly how good penetration felt. But he was also going to show Colin how to fuck him. And Judd already knew that would be his favorite part. He certainly hoped Colin was game. The eager cock pressed against his seemed damn near perfect in that regard. Already testing Judd’s patience and control. The patience and control he didn’t come by naturally.
Judd forced himself to relax into the big comfy couch. He remembered that his role was as educator. “Here’s what I think, Gingersnap.”
Another wiggle. “Yeah?”
“I think I’d like your hands all over me.”
“You would?”
“Oh yeah. I dream about those hands of yours.”
“You do?”
“Seriously, yes. I dream about lots of parts of you. But your hands, kid, they occupy too much of my thoughts.”
“You don’t need to keep calling me that.”
“Kid?”
“Yeah, I mean are you still trying to remind yourself I’m too young for you?”
Well, yes, of course Judd was. It was worse now. Now Judd had to remind himself not to take advantage. Not to fall in love. So much more was at risk.