me backwards until the back of my legs hit the edge of my bed. All at once, I was hit with the realization of what exactly we were doing. He was here for my virginity, and I was inexplicably handing it over to him. Was I really so twisted by all his years of torment that he’s really what I craved now? He’s been awful towards me for years, yet here I was, wanting to do anything he asked of me. I must have been sicker and more broken than I thought. Weak and pathetic, I wanted him to finally like me.
He pulled away, ending the kiss, and I watched in fascination as he yanked his shirt over his head leaving his torso bare. God, he was stunning. How could this boy possibly want to be with me?
Damien wasn’t shy in his undress. He didn’t stop until he was completely naked in front of me, shoes, socks and all. Before I could get a good look, his hands were already lifting the edge of my tank top and I numbly let him pulled it over my head and toss it on the floor next to his clothes.
I wanted to ask him if he like what he saw, but the growl emitting from his throat was encouragement enough. His green eyes never wavered from my brown ones as he hooked his fingers on either side of my panties and dragged them down my legs. I wanted to be embarrassed. I should have been embarrassed. I should have been mortified. I’ve only kissed one boy…well, one and half…and here I was letting Damien strip me naked to take whatever he wanted from me.
He leaned into me until I was forced to lie down on the bed and his huge body lowered with me, covering me completely. I couldn’t get a handle on my out-of-control breathing and every time I inhaled, the tips of my breasts would rub against his chest.
I don’t know what I was expecting. I mean, I’ve read novels and seen movies, but I knew that was make believe and not a realistic interpretation of actual sex. “I don’t know what to do,” I confessed. “I...I don’t know what you want from me.”
He leaned his head down and started kissing my neck and the pure euphoria of the act had me out of my mind with pleasure. “I just want you, Fiona…just you.”
The next thing I knew, he settled in between my legs with his penis rubbing up against my center. Oh, my God, this was really happening! Before I had a chance to change my mind, I felt a searing pain ripping me apart from the inside. I was on the verge of letting out a scream so loud it would surely bring the house down and my parents running, but Damien had immediately covered my mouth with his hand.
I was expecting him to wait until the pain had subsided, and I was used to his size, but he didn’t. He started ramming into me with no regard for my pain or discomfort. It was agony, and it consumed my entire being. It wasn’t until after a few minutes the pain lessened and something else took its place.
Pleasure.
Pleasure started surfacing in all the nerves that ran along my body. I didn’t know what was happening, and I couldn’t ask for his opinion because Damien kept his hand over my mouth as he used his other arm to brace himself above me.
Damien pushed into me faster and harder, and with each thrust, I was taken higher and higher into a world that didn’t exist outside of drugs. I felt heat start at the center of my core and shoot out like a starburst throughout my body. I screamed louder than I did when he had ripped me open.
I felt Damien strain and lock up above me, and he let out a cursed, “Fuuuuck,” before collapsing on top of me. After a few quiet seconds, he removed his hand from my mouth and, just like that, he lifted off my body and I watched stunned as he began to dress.
“What now?” I whispered, feeling overwhelmed and scared. We hadn’t used a condom, and the stickiness between my thighs felt like a death sentence.
He didn’t bother with looking at me as he finished dressing. “Nothing.” And then I knew. “You didn’t really think I’d leave for Yale without one last ‘fuck you’, did you?” He was halfway out the window when he