Endure - Sara B. Larson Page 0,93
her hair was cut short, just above her shoulders, and she wore tight pants, boots, a tunic, and a vest. But when she glanced up and her eyes met mine, almost as if she could feel the weight of my guilty stare, Tanoori’s face broke into a smile. I saw my name form on her lips, though I couldn’t hear her voice, and then she waved the man off and hurried over to us.
I had to dismount so I could throw my arms around her, biting down on my tongue to keep from crying.
“I can’t tell you how glad I am that you made it,” Tanoori said as she hugged me back tightly. “When I heard the news this morning, I couldn’t believe it.”
I pulled away to brush hastily at the tears on my cheeks. “I’m so sorry,” I whispered, my voice choked.
Seeing her brought back all the grief and guilt that I’d tried to bury after Eljin’s death. Because of me, the man she’d allowed herself to fall in love with was gone.
She took my hand in hers, gripping it tightly, her smile slipping away, her dark eyes bright with unshed tears. “I am, too.”
“If I’d only been able to —”
“Stop,” Tanoori cut me off. “It wasn’t your fault. Rylan told me what happened. You did the best you could. He went with you willingly, to protect you. And he did his job.” Her voice wobbled slightly, and she squeezed my hand one more time before letting go and wiping at her eyes brusquely.
I shook my head, unable to speak.
“Go,” she urged me. “The king is waiting for you. I have to help here.”
I nodded and turned back to Nia, climbing into the saddle once more. “I’m glad you got your wish,” I managed to say. “To fight,” I added when she looked at me with her eyebrows lifted.
She gave me a rueful smile as her hand dropped to rest on the hilt of the sword at her hip. “I’m not nearly good enough yet, but at least I’m not entirely helpless any longer.”
“Just remember that being small actually gives you an advantage — you’re quicker and harder to catch. Use that.”
Tanoori nodded. “Thank you, Alexa. Good luck to you.”
“And you,” I replied, knowing she meant in the upcoming battle.
With a final glance toward Rylan, Tanoori turned and headed back the way she’d come. He’d stood there the whole time observing, but now he came forward.
“It wasn’t your fault,” he repeated, gazing up at me, his hand resting on Nia’s powerful shoulder muscle, near my leg. “We knew that if it came down to choosing to sacrifice ourselves so you could escape and survive, that we would do it. You were the one who had to get back to Damian. He needs you, Alexa.”
I clenched my teeth, staring off toward the mountains in the distance as I tried to control my emotions. The sky was a cloudless expanse of crystalline blue, frigid and endless over the rugged peaks that soared high above us, their alabaster perfection slashed by tears of black where jagged rocks cut through the blanket of snow. Rylan hesitantly touched my calf, and I forced myself to look back down at him.
“You should go,” he said. “We have to hurry before Armando gets here.”
I nodded, but when he turned to walk away I burst out, “Rylan, wait.”
He faced me once again, but kept his distance. I hurried to dismount once more, my heart racing beneath my ribs. Armando was coming, and I didn’t know what the future held for any of us. I walked up to him and wrapped my arms around him one more time, squeezing him tightly. He hugged me back, his strong arms enfolding me against his body. He sighed softly when he let his head drop to rest against mine for just an instant. And then he pulled away.
I stood there for a moment looking up at him, my throat tight. Finally, I reached up to cup his cheek. The ring Damian had given me glittered in the sunlight.
“I love you, Ry,” I said softly. “You know that, don’t you?”
He nodded, swallowing once, hard, his eyes never leaving mine. “I know you do.” He lifted his hand to cover mine. “And you know I do, too.”
I searched his eyes for a long moment, but for the first time since I’d found out that he knew my secret, I saw no jealousy, no bitterness in his gaze. I pulled my hand back and