. that is so hard, man. But you know that it’s not, like, your fault, right?”
“Right,” Michael said noncommittally.
“No, listen, you are not even slightly allowed to feel bad about that,” she said earnestly, leaning forward, her eyes intense. “Getting to Charleston, protecting your brother? I’d say you’re sort of amazing. And things are going to work out, the soldiers will be here any day, and then . . .”
Michael nodded, his chest hurting.
Holly noticed how upset he was, and said, “You know what? I’d like to share something with you.”
Now she moved out from behind the podium, through the pews, through bars of moony snow-light, her skin like smooth milk, and he followed her, until they reached a patch of darkness, and her hand floated through space and found his hand, and his heart was alive in his throat.
A ladder was set against the wall, stretching up toward a recessed balcony. “You first,” she said, and when Holly followed him, he took her hand, helping her from the ladder. He noted, First Initiation of Hand-holding.
“It’s quiet up here. Why, I don’t know. The Zeds’ screams don’t seem to reach—I guess because they’re all out in front of the Capitol. And it’s kind of generally wonderful up here, don’t you think so?”
The balcony was generally wonderful. There were seats for an audience facing out over the bowl of the Sanctuary, but behind these seats was a wall of glass, which looked out on the Kanawha River. It was the river that ran from one tip of Michael’s West Virginia map to the other, the connective tissue through coal towns and McMansions, gathering pieces of the poor West Virginia and carrying them to where less-poor West Virginia could pick them up. The river was polluted, of course, and Bobbie was there now, but you couldn’t tell. The Kanawha only shone like a black ribbon, its surface spangled with the reflections of star points, as if the heavens momentarily had come to earth.
It would be easy to pretend the world was a world without the Bellows. And as Holly sat beside him, Indian-style, a warmth spreading in his skin when their knees touched, Michael understood that this was the gift she was giving him: a little piece of a world that made you think the whole thing was different.
The world can be different, Michael thought. I don’t have to let myself and people I care about get cornered. I don’t have to pretend that someone else is going to save me. I can leave, and this time, I can take all of us.
“I think we need to leave Captain Jopek,” Michael said. “Soon.”
Holly looked over, confused. “What? Why?”
“Because he’s dangerous, Holly. He never should have taken us into the city so late. It was pointless. And I swear, I think Jopek made us go into the Magic Lantern because he was pissed at me for questioning him.”
“That . . . doesn’t sound right, Michael,” she said.
Yes, it does. “Even if it isn’t, though, Jopek is letting us get cornered. The daylight doesn’t stop Bellows anymore, who knows how long it will be before they get through the barriers outside? There are more Bellows here all the time. Jopek is being stupid. I never let Bub and me get cornered when we were out there by ourselves. We can take the Hummer and get out of Charleston, and the . . . other unit, the one I saw,” Michael said, feeling a twinge of guilt and regret for having to lie, but pushing it down. It’ll be worth it in the end, he thought. I’ll get us to the Safe Zone, and we’ll all be safe. “They’ve gotta be close. But even if we can’t find them, the other Safe Zone is just across the border to Virginia.”
Holly looked not at all convinced.
“Holly, you’ve never thought that there’s anything weird about Jopek?”
“Well. I don’t know, maybe he’s too bossy sometimes. But that’s probably just the army, y’know?”
“No, I don’t think so at all,” Michael said. “I don’t know what it is, but when I look into his eyes . . . it’s like I’m looking over the edge of a pit. Even Bobbie said, ‘It’s like there’s a secret in everything he says.’”
Michael saw Holly flinch a little—because of the mention of Bobbie, he supposed.
After a moment, she said, in a light tone of voice that Michael didn’t quite buy, “I guess I’ve thought the captain can seem a little weird sometimes. Let’s