awful time at the dinner table, when she waited too long to answer, when her silence shamed him in front of his parents. She would not wait today, with his gaze upon her. Instead she slid toward him, kissed him.
"I was afraid," he whispered to her.
"Of what?"
"That in the morning you'd regret what you gave to me last night."
"What did I give you, that you didn't give me ten times over?"
He held her close. "What was it that we did last night?"
"Don't you remember?"
"I didn't know even at the time. Was it a man and a woman, drawn together, body to body? Was it a princess wanting to make the baby that will carry on the dynasty? Was it a strategy, to strike the next blow against the Widow? Was it the fear of death, which came so close yesterday?"
It devastated her to know what he thought of her. That he did not understand at all.
"I've hurt you," he whispered. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to. All of those are good reasons, don't you see? Because no matter what you meant by it, what you have is a husband, a father for your children, as long as I'm alive. I love you, Katerina, whether you love me or not, whether you even want me or not."
She pulled him close, partly because she could see how it hurt him not to be sure of her, partly so he couldn't see her tears.
But he felt them. "No, I've made you cry, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have spoken, I'm spoiling it and all I wanted was to - "
"Hush," she said. As mothers said it to their babies, who still whimpered even after they had been given the breast to suckle on. Hush, you already have what you yearn for, so be quiet and take it and be glad. "Would it disappoint you so much, Ivan, if you were wrong, and last night meant only that a wife came to her husband, and gave herself to him for love alone?"
"I hate to be wrong," he murmured. "But I can live with it."
Esther felt the change in the house from the break of day. Even if she hadn't caught a glimpse of Katerina in Vanya's bathrobe, going from his room to the bathroom, she would have known. For the emotional wall that had so thickened the hall between their rooms was gone. The air was clear; the light danced brightly on the walls.
At breakfast Vanya and Katerina were giddy and pensive by turns. Inexplicable silences, and then laughter at anything that could remotely pass for wit. Halfway through the meal, Piotr, always dense about such things, actually sensed the change. "Is something going on that I don't know about?" Which caused another burst of laughter from the young lovers. Esther caught his eye and shook her head a little. Don't ask. I'll tell you later. And because they had been married so long, he understood. Later, when the children were out in the back yard readying the Molotov cocktails, Esther was able to satisfy Piotr's curiosity. "It's love, you old fool," she said. "Don't you remember?"
"I was never so silly about it. And besides, they've been married since before they got here."
Esther kissed him. "They've been sleeping in separate rooms, Piotr."
"Well, some people do."
"But last night they slept in the same room."
It finally dawned on him. "You mean - they haven't been sleeping together?"
"The marriage wasn't consummated until last night. And, judging from the spring in Katerina's step, this morning as well."
"Esther," Piotr said sternly. "You shouldn't be thinking that way about your own son."
"What, I'm supposed to think he found a better way to make babies?"
Piotr sighed. "So they're going to be honeymooning all day?"
"That and blowing things up. Which isn't a bad combination. You're supposed to have fireworks."
"I thought it was violins. I thought the fireworks were last night at dinner."
"Last night was two people who were fed up with not being fully committed to each other. Vanya declared his commitment to her, and she didn't answer. But I imagine she gave her answer a few hours later. Perhaps it was after Katerina and I went out in the back yard to make a few spells that she didn't know, that she might need. We were in the shed when Vanya came out in his bathrobe. I decided I wasn't needed there anymore, so I went back in the house and left them alone. Apparently she had brains enough to stay out