Carmen rapped on the doorjamb and stuck her head inside Joanie’s room. “Are you as tired of this as I am?”
Joanie motioned her inside. “Worried as much as I’m tired of it. I don’t want to be without a phone if Brett calls or if Zoe gets kicked out of basic.”
“Don’t worry about that.” Carmen sat down in an old wooden rocking chair and set it in motion with her foot. “Luke’s got a charger for his computer, and he’s got spare batteries. He can keep our phones powered up. I love this place. It’s like going back in time—from the iron bedsteads to the rocking chairs—and it’s peaceful. I don’t even mind eating soups cooked over the open flame. But I hate not having hot water. My hair feels like a grease pit. I’m tempted to take a cold shower and wash it.”
“I will if you will.” Joanie laid the book she’d been reading on the coffee table. “But something else is on your mind other than electricity and boredom. I can see it in your face.”
“I’m going to let Eli have the divorce, but I’m not giving up everything. I’m going to fight him for the house. I’ll find a job and take over the rest of the payments. The lady at the base where we take our clothing donations has been after me to come work for her for years. She takes care of a couple of dozen children at a time—those who’ve been separated from their parents or who have no legal parents. I may call her when I get home and see if there’s still an opening,” Carmen said. “But my home is Natalie’s place to come to when she has time off, and I refuse to sell it.”
“Okaaay.” Joanie dragged out the word.
“That doesn’t mean I’m not still angry,” Carmen said.
“Understandable.” Joanie tried to imagine how she would feel if she were walking in Carmen’s shoes. One of those icy shivers chased down her spine when she thought of how distant and hasty Brett had been when he called the last few times.
Carmen swallowed a couple of times. “My marriage is like a dirty paper plate. It’s time to throw it away. Even with counseling, things wouldn’t ever be the same.”
A loud clap of thunder rattled the windows at the same time Diana joined them.
“Well, that startled me,” she said.
“As much as falling flat out on top of Luke last night?” Joanie teased.
Diana sat down on the edge of the bed. “No way. It’d take more than thunder to give me that kind of shock. I think I came in on Carmen saying her marriage is like paper plates.”
“She’s right about things not being the same,” Joanie said and then turned her attention to Carmen. “You might be able to start all over and rebuild what you had, but it would take even more than the twenty years you’ve already put into the marriage.”
“Why?” Carmen leaned forward, and the chair stopped rocking.
“Because you started out with a foundation of trust,” Joanie answered. “Eli threw a hand grenade on that, and it’s all shattered. Now you’d have to start with distrust, with wondering if he’d ever cheat on you again.”
Diana nodded with every word. “That’s what my therapist told me. It’s not like starting from ground zero. It’s more like digging a six-foot hole and trying to climb out of it after a hard rain.”
Carmen kept rocking. “It doesn’t mean I’m instantly over his cheating, but let’s move on. What about this little spark between you and Luke?”
“It hasn’t disappeared, but neither have the reasons for not encouraging it.” Diana stood up. “Break time is over. Back to work. Have to get another several hours in before I can borrow Luke’s gadget and send the files to the office.”
“In other words, you’re not going to talk about the vibes,” Joanie teased.
“You got it.” Diana waved as she went across the hallway to her bedroom.
Joanie remembered those first few flirtatious days with Brett. They both thought they were the first ones to ever discover love. Maybe that all-powerful emotion was what men craved when they were looking middle age in the eye. It definitely would make them feel young again. Was Brett looking over his shoulder at the past, like Eli, and wondering if he could re-create his youth? Was that why he was so rushed lately when he called? Previous deployments had allowed for time on the phone.