up until the day before he slipped into a coma. Taking that time with me, making that time for me when he had to have felt so awful, spoke volumes to me. His actions had whispered words of love and sacrifice that had reverberated through my life like the delicate ring of a sweet, beautiful bell. He never had to tell me that I was important to him, that he was fighting for me. Even then, I knew. His sacrifice was made clear in every breath he took, every step he made.
It just hadn’t been enough.
I learned early on that fate is a cruel, cruel bitch.
And that prayers are a waste of time.
“Lena, I…” Nate clears his throat. “Ar-are you sure you don’t want to reconsider treatment? I talked to—”
Placing two fingers over his lips, I cut him off.
“I’m positive. I told you what Dr. Taffer said. She was diplomatic about it, but the message was still clear. There isn’t any hope. Trying would just be pure hell. For both of us. And I don’t want that for you, Nate. I know what that does to a person, and you don’t deserve that. Let’s just enjoy our time as much as we can. While I still feel good. Can you do that for me?”
“I’d do anything for you. You know that.” His answer is quiet, but strong. Steady and solid like hard wood. He would do anything for me. And I do know that.
“I know. It’s one of the many reasons I love you.”
There’s a pause before he speaks. I know he’s trying to rally, trying to put the somberness of reality on hold for a while.
Just a little while.
But it’s so hard.
“Many reasons, huh?” His grin appears as Nate falls back on his sense of humor. That’s his way. It always has been.
I can hear it in his voice—the mischief. But it’s his tone that betrays what he’s actually feeling. Beneath the lightness, I hear his exhaustion. He’s still struggling to accept my decision, and the battle is wearing him out.
I wish I could help him with acceptance, but I can’t. The only thing I can do is ease his pain as much as I can in the meantime.
Even if that means pretending right along with him.
“Yep. There’s a list,” I reply teasingly.
I let my lips curl up into an evocative smile, resolving to steer our every conversation away from the subject as much as I possibly can. It’s like an ugly black stain on this trip, and I don’t want to waste one minute of the rest of my life being unhappy or anxious. And I don’t want Nate to either. I have to fight it because I want to give my husband some of his very best memories of me over the next few months. Moments and words and expressions that will one day override the horrible end when it comes for me, an end that he is bound to witness.
“A list? Does it begin with my engaging smile or my winning personality?” Nate is absently stroking his finger along the delicate skin beneath my chin.
“No, although both of those are on the list.”
“No? Then what could be first? What could’ve caught the attention of the most beautiful woman I’d ever seen? Hmm, let’s see. My sparkling green eyes?” His mouth is beginning to show the early signs of a genuine smile. I feel encouraged, my heart lightening noticeably. With a grin, I shake my head. “Lips that could charm the devil himself?”
“Nope,” I deny, inching my way closer to him.
“Well, you hadn’t seen me naked yet, so it couldn’t be my—”
“No!” I hurry to say.
“Then what was it?”
I lift my hand and trail my fingertips over the contours of his face—the edge of his cheekbone, the hollow of his cheek, the dip of his chin. With Nate’s eyes on mine, I skim his jaw and throat, brush his chest and belly, and then wrap around his waist to his tight butt. “Honestly? It was this ass,” I confess with a squeeze of my fingers. “I’d never seen an ass this fine in all my years.”
Nate succumbs to a cocky grin. “It is a mighty fine ass, I must say.”
“That it is. Even after all this time.”
“Wanna take it for a spin?” Nate flexes his hips, the muscle of his butt tensing under my hand. “I’m happy to oblige your every fantasy.”
Desire ripples through me. As always, Nate can make me forget everything else. Our chemistry has