Empire High Elite (Empire High #2) - Ivy Smoak Page 0,67
you. Letting you get high. Letting you go to the Alcaraz’s. But this? Yeah, this is probably the worst.”
“Why? I’m just standing here.”
I watched as his Adam’s apple slowly rose and fell.
Was he thinking it too? That he wanted to do more than stand? My eyes wandered to his bed behind him. It wasn’t made, and something about that felt so homey to me. I wanted to crawl under his sheets and never leave.
“You need to go,” he said.
“You’re the only one here that makes me feel like I’m not alone.”
“I can’t be that person for you.”
“Why?” I hated how small my voice sounded.
“Because I work for your father.”
“He’s not my father. A father is someone who’s there for you when you fall off your bike and skin your knee. A father is someone who hugs you when you’re crying. A father is someone that didn’t pay off your mother just to get rid of you. He isn’t my father. He’s a monster. No matter how hard he tries, he’ll always be a monster. Because that was how my mother remembered him. And I’ll never dishonor her memory.”
I didn’t even realize that he’d drawn closer to me. He reached out and ran his index finger and thumb down a loose strand of my hair. “It doesn’t matter how you think of him. He’s still going to take care of you. And I’ll never be able to. Not the way he can.”
“Are you talking about money? I don’t care about money…”
“You date guys like Felix Green and Matthew Caldwell.”
“I hate guys like Felix Green and Matthew Caldwell.”
“Hate and love are a fine line, kid.”
I wasn’t a kid. I was barely younger than him. “You were right, I shouldn’t have come down here.” I stepped around him but he moved to block my path.
“What did you want when you came down here?”
“For you to hide my dress.”
“That’s it?”
I shook my head. “I wanted you to make me feel less alone. Like when we ate ice cream together.”
“I’m not a cure for loneliness.”
I took a step toward him. “I know. But you also said a guy who doesn’t stick up for me isn’t someone who’s worth my time. And I have a feeling you’d always stick up for me.”
His eyes dropped to my lips. “I’ll never belong in your world,” he said.
My world? What world? The Pruitt’s? I didn’t belong there. I stared at him. But he was saying that I didn’t belong in his either. But his world was the same as my old one. How could I not belong in my new world or my old one? Where the hell was I supposed to be?
Before I even realized what was happening, his lips were on mine. His words said leave, but his grip on my hips and his tongue in my mouth begged me to stay. And I was more confused than ever as his kiss made my head spin.
He pulled away far too soon, his forehead pressed against mine. “I’ll make you feel less alone whenever you want. I’ll let you see your friends. I’ll stop checking every room you walk into if that’s what you want. I’ll let you eat my ice cream and borrow my phone. I’ll give you the code so you can sneak out whenever you want. But don’t ask me to let you spend the night when I know you’re in love with someone else.”
I wanted to tell him that I wasn’t in love with someone else. That I wanted to stay. But I couldn’t do that. “You could get fired for all those things,” I said, trying to lighten the mood.
“They’re worth it if they make you smile.” He pulled back from me.
“So you’re offering me kisses but not…” my voice trailed off as I looked at his bed “…snuggles.”
He shook his head and laughed. “You’re definitely too young for me.” He walked over to his door and opened it.
“But you want to kiss me again?” I really was being juvenile right now.
He smiled. “I’m finding it hard to say no to you, Brooklyn. Which is why I’m leaving right now. Because I’m finding it increasingly hard to control myself. I’ve clearly lost all reason.” He walked away before I could respond.
I wasn’t sure where he was going. Because I was in his room.
Chapter 21
Saturday
I snuck down to Miller’s room every night after that. Eventually he stopped turning me away. One of the only house rules I knew was that boys weren’t allowed in