Empire High Elite (Empire High #2) - Ivy Smoak Page 0,49
did something and Isabella is holding it against you. But you don’t even trust me enough to tell me what it is. Or what she’s threatening.” I removed his hands from my face. “All you said is that it would hurt James, but don’t you see that I’m hurting? All I’ve been doing for the past few months is hurting. And you hurt me, Matt.”
“I’m sorry. But that’s why I’m here. Because I know you’re hurting. I know you need me.”
“If you’re that sorry, you can fix it. Just tell me the truth.”
He pressed his lips together.
His silence was the problem. Didn’t he see that? “Get out.” Maybe I was high, but I was damn sure about this.
“Brooklyn…”
“Get the hell out!”
“You don’t understand. James…”
“He’s one of your best friends. I know. I get that. What I don’t get is why I don’t matter. You make me feel like I’m nothing.”
“Of course you matter. I’m standing here telling you I love you. You mean everything to me.”
“It’s not enough. Love isn’t ignoring someone when they get milk thrown on them during lunch. Love isn’t not acknowledging me in public…”
“You know I can’t. You know what will happen if Isabella tells James...”
“That’s the thing, Matt. I don’t. What will happen to James if you come clean? What secret do you have that will hurt him? What could possibly be worse than this?”
“I can’t…”
“Tell me! What is worse than not being there for your girlfriend when she just lost everything? What is worse than that?”
“Losing him!”
It felt like his words echoed around me. “You’re scared he won’t be your friend anymore? I’m pretty sure friendship has built-in forgiveness.” At least, I hoped so. Because I needed a lot of forgiveness from Kennedy if she really was in love with Felix. But my stomach was twisted into knots. Because shouldn’t all relationships have built-in forgiveness? And I wasn’t forgiving Matt. What is wrong with me?
He sat down on the edge of my bed. “No, I don’t mean he’d stop being my friend. But yeah, I’m sure that would happen too.”
“Then what did you mean?”
“I think he might kill himself, Brooklyn.” It looked like he was going to cry. Like the confession was breaking him in two. But instead he just put his elbows on his knees and looked down at the ground.
I didn’t know what to say. All I could think about was that James looked…sad. If there was one word I could have chosen to describe him, that probably would have been it. He drank too much. He was addicted to some kind of drug to the point where he’d blackmailed me. He was even more lost than me. “Do you really think James would do…that?”
“Yes. No. I don’t know. Maybe.” He looked so sad. “His parents gave him some bullshit ultimatum about having to break up with Rachel or they’ll cut him off.”
I’d heard the rumors about how Isabella and James were supposed to end up together. I thought it was just…rumors. But his parents cutting him off for dating someone else? All rumors were based on the truth. “What is he going to do?” I asked.
“I don’t know. But he’s already depressed. Did you know that he used to play football with Mason and me? And then suddenly his parents decided sports were a waste of time, so they pulled him from the team. He started drinking first. I don’t even know what the hell he’s taking anymore. He’s drowning and I feel like I’m the only one that can tell it’s getting worse every day. And I don’t know what to do.”
“Matt.” I knelt down in front of him so that I could see his face. “If you’re worried that he might try to kill himself, we need to tell someone.”
“You don’t think I’ve tried that?” He finally made eye contact with me. “Rob just thinks I’m being paranoid because of what happened last year. He says he has it all under control. But he doesn’t. He can’t watch James 24/7.”
“What happened last year?”
He looked up at me with a frown, as if he was realizing he let too much slip. “Nothing.”
But I wasn’t going to let him out of this conversation so easily. “Did James already try this?”
“No.”
“So what happened?”
He shook his head.
“We need to tell James’ parents about this.” No, they were the worst. They were part of the reason all this was happening. “Or maybe the school counselor. Or some other adult. What about your parents? They