victory. We did what we were supposed to do, and you were right where you were supposed to be, Synthia. You can’t predict treachery. You can’t foresee another god’s ability to get past you. You did well,” he said thickly, tightening his hand on mine.
“I don’t feel like I did well,” I whispered.
“You took on an army, and you destroyed them. You didn’t allow any to escape, my fierce little wife. You demolished them, and you showed no mercy. The horde is rejoicing outside of the gates. They’re telling heroic stories about their bloodthirsty battle queen who stared down death and laughed in his face. You faced off with a god, and I’m thankful that Erie was here because, according to Ciara, you almost died too. So brush it off and sit up straight. Don’t let them see your tears. Fix your crown and stand proud, because you fucking earned it. I felt you fighting, and I knew I didn’t need to come save you because I knew you could handle it. No king has ever been prouder of his queen than I was of you today. We took a hit, but we also showed them we would stand and fight.”
“Dristan,” I whispered, and watched Ryder nod as his jaw clenched tightly.
“That one hurts the most,” he admitted. His throat bobbed, and his hand tightened on mine.
“Ristan has to go on without Olivia, and I promised him I would protect her.”
“No, you promised that you’d do every-fucking-thing you could do to protect her, to do your best, and that’s what you did. Ristan knows that, even if he can’t admit it yet. You saved his son. You did what you could for them. He has a part of her now because of you.”
“Eliran?” I asked thickly.
“He knew he might not make it out of this alive. He did his job to save us so we could be here to fight this war. He served his purpose with dignity and honor, even though he wasn’t a warrior. He died proudly protecting the babes.”
“Sevrin?” I wiped at the tears.
“He went out fighting for his family, and he wouldn’t want it any other way. He asked to stay to protect you.”
I tore my gaze away from Ryder’s, hating that he didn’t blame me for failing, even though I knew how stupid it was to feel that way. Asher and his brothers and sister stood over a wrapped up body, and I turned to Ryder, hissing as the needle stuck in my cheek.
“I’m sorry. You keep moving.” Finley grimaced.
“It is fine, Finley. Who is Asher standing with?” I asked Ryder.
“Emric; his brother fell in the battle outside the walls. I heard we have a new Light King. I’m guessing that will put a hitch in Adam breeding with them, now won’t it?”
“If Asher and his army weren’t here, we would have lost the castle,” I admitted.
“But they were because I’d told him to come here instead of joining me. I fought for days, and when Bilé failed to show, I feared that he’d figured out our plan. Even though I hoped I was wrong, I had a feeling he was coming here, but I never sensed your panic. No storms hit us, no strange weather formed to even hint that you were in turmoil. You didn’t want me to feel you, which suggested you were doing okay. I asked the men where you might have neglected to protect the castle, and they said you did everything right. Don’t second-guess your decisions or blame yourself. Use the anger, Synthia. Use it to fight the son of a bitch who took from us.”
“We need to address the crowd and burn our dead.” I stared at where Ristan held his son next to Olivia’s body. The child’s tail was wrapped around his wrist, while Ristan held him against his chest, silently staring at his wife as tears flowed down his cheeks. “He needs us now.”
“He needs everyone,” Ryder said with conviction, noting where I stared. “We have