tower and defend the stronghold. They have all said that you did everything you should have done, except for one thing: You still haven’t chosen Faery. You continue to cling to that worthless shred of humanity. You were born fae, Synthia, not human. You have no place inside that world; you never did. The only way you can ward against Bilé is by being stronger than he is inside this world, and to do that, you have to choose Faery.
“Why won’t you accept the power that’s just within your grasp? All you have to fucking do is reach for it. You can’t fight two wars at once and give them both your best. I love you, but I won’t let you take everything from me. I won’t lose more of my family, because when they are gone, that is it. They die, and it’s fucking final. I can’t do that, not even for you. Not when the solution is within your fucking grasp, and you are refusing to take it.”
“I chose Faery,” I whispered through tears.
“No, you chose me. You stand at my side, but you’re not here with me. We can’t have secrets between us anymore. We need to be in this together, sweet girl, but you’re not fucking here. You let me know when you decide what you’re going to do.” Leaning down, Ryder kissed my cheek and sifted, leaving me alone.
Three hours later, my eyes were swollen shut from crying until I couldn’t see past the haze in them. I walked into the horde’s throne room, where Ryder sat on the throne, staring at me as I passed by him. His gaze narrowed as he took in my disheveled appearance. He was right, and it hurt. I was here. I was his. I was also uncertain I could shed my humanity because, without it, I’d lose the last piece of me, of who I used to be.
I turned, unable to look at Ryder before I headed toward the great hall, ignoring the people who stopped to watch as I passed them. The guards opened the doors wide, and I walked blindly through them and away from the stronghold. I didn’t stop when people called out to me, nor did I acknowledge those that bowed around me. I pulled the crown from my head, turning to stare up at where Ryder watched me from the battlements. With a sad smile and a tear rolling down my cheek, I dropped my crown on the ground and vanished.
Chapter Thirty-One
I landed in the Fairy Pools, hissing at its icy chill. Standing up, I shook off the water and looked around at the large trees that glowed. Tiny fairies hiding within the security of the trees stared at me as I climbed out from the slick rocks of the fast-running creek. I approached the fairies, dropping down to lean against the tree.
They swarmed me, touching my hair and face before landing all over my arms. They were like tiny insects that buzzed with the speed of their wings, hovering every so often, similar to hummingbirds as they flew.
“Goddess,” one whispered in awe.
“Queen of the Horde,” another insisted.
“Lost, is she?” a male whispered to a female holding his hand.
“She’s not lost. She’s looking to be found,” the female replied.
“Human?” I studied the pair absently, pushing my wet hair away from my face.
“No, you’re of this land. Look around you,” the male said, stretching his arms, indicating our surroundings.
Nearby animals lifted their heads from feeding to peer curiously at me, while other creatures moved closer as if they didn’t believe I was really here. Maybe I needed to get out of the castle more often—if I was technically allowed back in, that was. I stood slowly, trying not to unseat the tiny fairies while curious eyes watched me. Unnerved, I shook my arms, ridding myself of their invasion, and sifted again.
This time I appeared outside of the Blood Kingdom, staring at torn banners and others that’d been set afire when the castle fell. Tears swam in my eyes, blurring my vision as I remembered entering the kingdom for the first