Embrace the Darkness (The Maura Quinn Series Book 1) - Ashley N. Rostek Page 0,58

three of us were standing next to each other with me in the middle and them flanking me in their caps and gowns. We looked happy with genuine smiles adorning our faces.

The other picture was of his parents holding him as a baby. His father had been killed when Jamie had been a toddler. I didn’t know what gang or crime family had been responsible. It didn’t feel right to ask, but I did know it had been during a turf war. Right before Jamie had turned twelve, his mother had been diagnosed with cancer and Stefan had moved them both in with us. He'd gotten her the best medical care money could buy until she'd passed away, just after Jamie had turned thirteen. She had been a very kind woman and Jamie had been the center of her world.

I scooted toward the center of the bed. Lying flat on my back, I stared at the spots of sunlight shining on the ceiling. My vision drifted into a glossy daydream while my mind raked over the last six years. I tried to remember anyone who had stood out or seemed weird, but nothing came to mind. I thought back to the time Tom and I’d had sex in his car, then the time Tina and I had gotten drunk and she'd bet I wouldn’t run down the hall of our coed dorm naked. Quite a few people had seen my naked ass that night. Both of those embarrassing moments were only a few that came to mind that were public. I was sure there were more. Had my every move or experience been spied on, written down in a report, and shared with Stefan?

What was the point of leaving at all?

To heal.

If I hadn’t left, I would’ve killed myself. It was the sad truth.

There’s zero room for weakness in this family. Having that ingrained in my brain had made me blame Stefan for the pain I couldn’t make go away and it was what had laid the foundation for the past six years of my life.

Was my father really the crafty and insightful bastard he claimed to be? Had he really known I couldn’t trust him, and thus formed a plan to give me an escape to have the freedom to accept what had happened, to feel it without fear of repercussions? Had I known I hadn't really been out, I wondered if I would have been as broken as the day I'd left. I probably wouldn’t have been so determined not to come back, thinking a normal life was what I'd wanted or needed. Or maybe living a normal life was what I'd needed to show me this was where I truly belonged. Had that been part of Stefan’s grand plan as well?

I didn’t know how long I lay there as I watched the light from the sun move across the ceiling. It wasn’t until I felt the bed dip and a feather-like touch across my cheek that I realized I’d fallen asleep. Opening my eyes, I found Jamie lying next to me with his head propped up on his hand.

“I’m mad at Stefan,” I said, rolling on my side to face him.

He brushed a stray hair away from my face.

“Did you know?” I asked, already knowing the answer. There was no way he hadn't known Stefan had hired a private security team to watch me.

“I hired them.”

Of course he did. I let out a frustrated sigh. “Do they still work for us?”

“Their contract ended when you came home.”

“Can we get them back? If Stefan is going to insist I have a ball and chain, I’d prefer it wasn’t someone already part of his goon squad. I want someone outside the family.”

“Why?” he asked.

“They’ve already seen me at my worst, and they have zero to gain by using my vulnerabilities against me.”

He frowned. “We train our men to be discreet and if anyone tried to hurt you—”

“I’m a woman.” I gave him a tight smile. “Ninety percent of the men in this family see me as a bed warmer.” Jamie opened his mouth to argue, but I continued on. “Yes, I’m the Banphrionsa and yet that title means shit if another leader—a male leader of this family—gives an order to contradict mine. I don’t want someone whose loyalties will be torn. I’m not saying Stefan would order his men to hurt me, even though it was his goons who helped him educate me growing up, but I trust Samuel