Embrace the Darkness (The Maura Quinn Series Book 1) - Ashley N. Rostek Page 0,10
detachment. For three torturous months, I'd thought I'd betrayed the family by spilling family secrets to a friend at school. Which had been impossible because I hadn't had any friends other than Jamie, but he'd broken me down, stripped away all that made sense until I'd believed what he'd been saying was true. Each day, I’d woken up wondering if today was the day he’d kill me.
His attempts had started off small. One time he'd ripped me out of bed in the middle of the night, sat me down at the dining room table, and placed a plate of food in front of me. He'd implied it was poisoned, then told me to eat up. I'd fought. Like anyone would die willingly. He, of course, had been stronger and ended up force feeding me. I'd trembled with fear as he'd shoved each bite into my mouth, but I hadn't begged, and I most certainly hadn't cried. In Stefan’s eyes, crying was for the weak. After I'd swallowed the last bite, he'd stuck his finger down my throat and made me throw it all up, then told me poison wasn’t the death I deserved.
It had only gotten worse after that, slowly progressing with each passing week. I think the time he'd finally broken me of my fear of death was when he'd had one of his men try to drown me in our pool. I remembered strong arms holding me under the cool water while Stefan had stood next to the pool watching, looking bored with his hands stuffed into his pockets. I remembered the very moment I'd stopped fighting. I'd stared up at my father through the rippling water, thinking, Who the fuck cares anymore? It hadn't been that I'd wanted to die, I'd just accepted that death was something I couldn’t fight. The fear of it had no longer existed in me or weighed me down. It had been quite freeing, actually. Then I'd inhaled. My whole body had jerked as if trying to reject the water filling my lungs. The man holding me under must have noticed because he'd yanked me out of the water and tossed me out of the pool at Stefan’s feet. I'd gotten a little bit of satisfaction from coughing up all the water I'd inhaled all over his expensive leather Oxfords.
The final time Stefan had attempted to kill me, he'd held a gun to my head. He'd asked if I had any last words. I'd told him to stop wasting my time and just pull the trigger. It must have been the look in my eyes or the boredom in my voice that had convinced him this lesson was over. He'd holstered his gun, given me a proud smile, warmth returning to his eyes. “Very good, Maura,” he'd praised, like I'd aced a school spelling test, before he'd pulled me into his arms for a hug.
I was surprised Jamie and I hadn't ended up in a mental hospital with half of the fucked-up shit Stefan had put us through. Our childhood would have traumatized most and his excuse had been that we were stronger because of it.
When it looked like Jamie found what he was looking for in my eyes, his whole body relaxed. “There she is. I was wondering when the Banphrionsa would surface.”
I suppressed an eye roll. “I’m not a princess.” Banphrionsa was Gaelic and a nickname the family had given me. “But I’m still a Quinn.”
“I don’t know. You’ve been out of the life for a long time. I haven’t seen you in, what… six years? The first time I hear from you and see you, you acted like a regular female. I had you read in less than two seconds with how much emotion you were showing. You never used to be this easy to read.”
He was right. You couldn't survive in our world by showing vulnerability. No one could be trusted. However, I’d never had to worry about trusting Jamie and my gut had told me I could trust Louie as well. That was why they'd been my friends. Had been.
“Regular people show emotions, Jamie. It’s how they interact. Believe me, it was a culture shock in the beginning, but I assimilated. I can adjust to my surroundings if needed. I just figured, since it was you at my door and not one of Stefan’s goons, I didn’t have to turn off years of conditioning like a flip of a switch. I’ve never had to hide anything from