night so far allowing her words to run right through him; he was grateful she had nothing of substance to say, because it required him to contribute very little to the conversation. A nod, a smile, a laugh here and there, and she was totally appeased. Now, he turned to face her, trying hard to focus on her face, on the present.
He watched her mouth moving, the words not really registering, and he sighed to himself. Hadn’t he told Andie that he prided himself on doing what he wanted, when he wanted? Hadn’t he told her that he refused to live his life for other people? That he learned to do what would make him happy, regardless of what others expected of him?
But this was different.
Fuck. Why did it have to be different?
This was Colin’s girlfriend. He couldn’t do this. Chase was fully aware that he sometimes came off as an asshole to people who didn’t know him, but the truth was, he wasn’t. Right now though, he wished he was. He wished he didn’t give a shit what kind of pain he’d cause Colin, because he wanted her. In every possible way that a person could want another.
The girl next to him paused in the conversation, and Chase nodded and smiled, causing her to laugh shrilly and flash him one of her seductive looks again.
Andie had to know, Chase thought. She had to know how he felt. He was sure he saw it in her eyes on Tybee Island, and almost positive he saw it on the dance floor, felt it in the way her body kept gravitating toward his.
He brought his drink to his lips, taking a slow sip. And she had to know that Colin wasn’t right for her, he ruminated, the alcohol in his system beginning to fuel his thoughts. Chase could tell what that relationship was about. She had even said it herself. Colin was her safe pick. Her life was about safe picks, but deep down, he knew she wanted more than that.
That night in South Carolina, as she slept beside him, he had gotten a glimpse inside her mind without her permission. And he knew now that there was much more to her than what she was letting on.
Plus, every time he had pushed her beyond her limit, although she would react uneasily at first, she always ended up thrilling to the idea. Relishing it, even. He wanted to be the one to keep opening her eyes like that, to give her all the things she wanted but wouldn’t admit to anyone, not even herself. He wanted to be the one she experienced things with, to show her that it was okay to just…be.
But he couldn’t. He would never do that to Colin. What was more, he’d never do that to her, to turn her into someone who was deceitful, disloyal.
But God, he could see himself with her.
He closed his eyes and brought his drink to his lips, and this time, as the image of being with Andie played out behind his eyelids, he let it. The alcohol was making him cavalier, and he was tired of fighting it. And so he let himself go in the fantasy, enjoying every last imagined, fabricated moment.
He had almost forgotten about the girl next to him until he felt her shift in her seat, and the next thing he was aware of was her hand grazing his crotch, the evidence of his arousal.
He cocked his head to the side, looking at her; she had one eyebrow raised, a wry smirk twisting her mouth. She bit the side of her lip then, no doubt trying to look coy.
“Well, well, well,” she said, her voice low and throaty. “It appears that someone’s enjoying my company.” She smiled then, bringing her lips to Chase’s ear, and he was immediately engulfed in some sort of overwhelming musky perfume. “Let’s get out of here, baby,” she crooned, allowing her teeth to graze the shell of his ear before she pulled away from him.
Chase looked down, running his tongue over his teeth, and he took a deep breath before he brought his drink to his mouth, taking down the last of it as if it were a shot.
Fuck it, he thought, as he slammed his empty glass down on the bar and reached for her hand.
And so he drove them to his apartment, battling thoughts of Andie the entire way. She’s with Colin, he told himself as the girl stripped for him.