Ella Enchanted - By Gail Carson Levine Page 0,30

loud again.

"I'm skilled at tongues, and--"

"I can't hear you. Oh, I forgot." He extracted something from his ears --

beeswax.

"That's why the ogres' magic had no effect on you."

"Once we sight ogres, we always put the wax in. The danger is being caught unawares."

Char said that one of the knights, acting as a scout, had seen me. "He reported that a band of ogres was about to eat a maiden when she talked them to sleep.

How did you do it?"

"I told them about finishing school, and they began to snore."

"Truly?" Char stared at me, then laughed.

It was delightful to make him laugh. He was always so surprised.

"How did you really do it?" he persisted.

"I spoke to them in Ogrese, and I imitated their oily way of talking. I didn't know if I would succeed. They had already parceled me up. I knew which one was going to eat every bit of me. SEEf -- that one -- wanted my leg."

Char moved his own right leg. "How did they come upon you?"

I told him I had run away from finishing school. "They caught me when I left the elves. They ate the pony the elves gave me." I shuddered.

"Was finishing school so wearisome that you had to run away?" he asked.

"Very wearisome, and see what it's done to me. I can no longer break a set of dishes by accident. Now I can balance all of them on my head and stroll through Frell without dropping a single one. I have many accomplishments."

"Are you proud of them?" He was alarmed.

I nodded solemnly. I wanted to make him laugh again. "Would you like to know more?"

He shrugged, disliking the topic.

I went on anyway. "To begin with, I could teach these boorish ogres how to eat properly." I seated myself on a large rock. "Observe." I plucked an imaginary napkin out of the air, shook it twice, and placed it on my lap.

"Very ladylike," Char said politely.

"I shake the napkin twice. That's important."

"Why?"

"Mice."

Char smiled. "There are no mice in our court napkins. You are thinking of spiders."

"The prince contradicts a lady!" I picked up an imaginary fork and began to saw at imaginary food.

"Your meat is tough. You have a low regard for our cooks."

"Not at all. It should be tough. Don't you know why?"

"Tell me."

"It is mutton. Am I not using a mutton fork? Our Manners Mistress will believe you're an impostor if you don't recognize a mutton fork when..."

"When I don't see one." He was laughing.

"It could only be a mutton fork!"

"How so?"

"See how my fingers are bunched together at the top of the stem." I reached up and caught Char's hand. It was square and large.

I extended my index finger. "My finger is the fork. You grasp it so." I arranged his fingers around mine. His grip was firm. "That's the only correct way to hold a mutton fork. A trout fork is managed differently." I turned his hand over to demonstrate. Angry red welts ran across his palm. "The rope burned you!"

He pulled his hand away. "It's nothing. One of the knights is a healer. What else did your Manners Mistress teach you?"

I wanted to examine the burn more closely, but I continued. "Manners Mistress knew your father's opinion about everything. She said he would exile any subject who ate blancmange from a soup bowl. As a result of her instruction, I can never make such a mistake."

"Does my father have a special spoon for raspberries and one for blueberries?"

"Certainly."

"Why wasn't I informed?"

"You should hire Manners Mistress. She would die of delight to serve a prince."

I went on to describe all our mistresses. "Writing Mistress was the only one who taught anything worth knowing," I concluded, "although it is helpful to know the proper way to behave, so one can decide whether or not to be proper."

On the word "proper," Char started. "I should have introduced you long ago to my knights." He called to them. "Friends -- John, Aubrey, Bertram, Percival, Martin, Stephan -- meet our ogre tamer. She's the lass I told you about, the one who speaks Gnomic."

He had told them about me! I curtsied.

"We wondered when you would remember your manners," the one named Stephan said.

SEEf made a garbled noise through his gag. For a moment I had forgotten him.

Char went to the ogres, and I followed.

"So much as you are our friends, so much are we your friends," he said. "But we won't kill you unless you force us to."

For an instant, SEEf looked dumbstruck.