While Vasili was tending to Cooper, Natalia wandered into the kitchen and sat with Gregor, who was nursing a glass of vodka. It was a nice, quiet moment that allowed her to reflect and sort her tangled feelings.
For one thing, that rush of panic when she’d seen Cooper lying helpless before Bruno. She’d never had such emotions before. Certainly not for a man.
So why him?
Granted, he had been a phenomenal lay, but that was hardly enough to justify these feelings. It had to be something else. Something deeper. When he smiled, she felt happy. When he stared at her with lust in his eyes, she became excited. When he was in pain, she wept as well.
There was a connection between them. As though some ephemeral ties linked them, when such a thing should not be possible.
She’d always been cold and detached. No one ever made her feel. No one ever made her soft. What was it about him?
A little voice in the back of her head whispered that this was what love might be, but she ignored it. It was a ridiculous thought. They didn’t even know each other. They had nothing in common and certainly no future together.
If she were wise, she would take Gregor’s advice, leave this place and forget about Cooper forever.
But for some reason, it hurt to entertain the thought.
If this was love, or something like it, she didn’t care for it in the least. It was unpleasant and confusing and caused this sense of being…beholden to someone else, which always made her twitchy.
A person couldn’t live the life she lived and care about people.
She’d learned that lesson long ago.
“Stop it,” Gregor muttered.
“Stop what?”
“Stop thinking about him.”
She frowned. “I am not thinking about him.”
“Then why are you making those noises?”
“Was I making noises?” Sometimes it was annoying that Gregor knew her so well.
“Little grunty noises, as though you are arguing with yourself.” He waggled a finger. “It is never a good idea to argue with yourself.”
“Especially when you are here for that pleasure.”
“Precisely.” He stared into his drink for a moment and then said, “I see the way you look at him.”
“Don’t be ridiculous. I look at all men that way.”
“No, you don’t.”
“There is nothing between us.”
He made a noise, something like a snort. “Nonsense. Listen to me, dorogaya. This man is dangerous to you.”
“Pffft.”
“He turns your head. He makes you lose your focus.”
“He is just a man.”
“A man you chose over your mission. When has that ever happened before?”
There was no answer to that. None she wanted to give, at least. She had never chosen a man over a mission. She’d never chosen anything over a mission. In her heart of hearts, she had to admit that there was something about Cooper that made her feel…different.
She wasn’t fool enough to think that made her different, however.
She was still the same wounded, brittle girl—one who could never love and had never been loved. Perhaps one who was not worthy of such a gift.
None of that mattered in her job. In fact, it got in the way.
But Cooper made her want…something different.
Which was probably the most foolish thing of all.
Gregor was probably right. Cooper was dangerous to her. To her sense of self.
But he was damned good in bed and she wanted to be with him again…in that way.
And she would.
“He is just a man,” she repeated, because Gregor was watching her far too sharply. “It will be what it will be, and then it will be over.”
“You are certain?”
“Of course I am.”
“Humph.”
Natalia was not sure what he meant by that, but Gregor did not sound convinced in the least.
Chapter Seven
It was a couple days before Cooper could function normally, and even then he was confined to shuffling around the villa and tending to his personal needs himself. He still ached, but at least his mind was working again. He set himself to the task of co-opting Vasili’s computer and wading through the information on his thumb drive and plotting how to take Ming Kow into custody. He had more than enough information to destroy the man’s business, but both had to happen for his mission to be a success.
Though he was focused on his work, he couldn’t help but be distracted whenever Natalia walked into the room. Her scent, her presence—whatever it was—made his body go en pointe. He had a sixth sense, a radar when it came to her.