was not as close as mine with Mom, but we were still working on it. My natural distrust of men made it hard to completely allow him into my heart, but he'd proven himself more than once, and I had seen no signs that there was a monster hiding inside his affable persona.
So I let him hug me, and I even returned it with a squeeze.
"You are beautiful," he repeated, pulling away. "And more importantly, you’re strong and smart and capable and brave. There's nothing you cannot achieve, and I'm proud to call you my daughter."
Well, fuck. I couldn't cry again ... my mother had painted my face in swirls of gold and red, and if I lost it now, it’d just be a pretty smear across my face.
"Thank you," I murmured. "I've never had anyone be proud of me, and I thought I didn't need to hear it, but … I did."
I was turning into a sappy sap.
I’d always laughed at those Hallmark commercials depicting the perfect family—pure envy drove me to mock their relationships. I’d craved that life with desperation, until eventually disappointment forced me to harden my heart and stop dreaming.
Maybe it was time to start again.
"What happens now?" I asked as more ruby fey gathered behind us.
Even though it was only the royal-blooded fey allowed to venture to the heart of the rubies, where we connected with our stones, the rest of the city was here to support me.
“You will cross the water," Deloria said, moving closer so the three of us were a line facing the lake. "On the other side is your destiny."
"Alone?" I asked.
For some reason I'd assumed they would be there.
"This is not a journey we can take with you," she replied, her voice practically vibrating with emotions. "But we are here, supporting, waiting, and loving you."
We hadn't used the words love before. Not like that.
Fuck. My chest.
It hurt.
"Thank you," I murmured. I'd never said "love" before to anyone, not even Grams, and my mouth froze, unable to speak it, while my chest ached from all the feelings in there.
The ruby glow on the water increased, distracting me, and I sucked in a deep breath. Focus.
I had to focus and get through this ceremony.
"It's time," my father said, gently nudging me forward. "The light is about to hit the water—wait for the path."
I nodded, having no godly idea what he was talking about, but hoping I wouldn't look like a fucking moron. A murmured chorus of “Princess” and “Good luck” echoed from the crowds, and even though I didn't look back, I felt a sense of happiness and pride.
I'd never been important, and here I was. It was a nice, satisfying feeling.
Another nudge from my father indicated that I needed to start moving. Stepping along the soft grass, it felt damp, especially as I closed in on the water. The ruby light grew in intensity but wasn't blinding. Instead, I felt like I was being bathed in warmth … in life. How had I lived without the rubies up until now?
As my toes touched the water, I felt an urge to turn back. To look at the crowd. To search for him.
Jacob Compass.
Crazy, because there was no way he could be here. He didn’t even know this was happening—we’d planned the damn event yesterday.
Not to mention a month in Faerie was multiple months on Earth. He'd probably moved on with his life, thinking I was never coming back.
My eyes burned, throat tight and painful as I swallowed. Again, I refused to let the tears fall and ruin my mother's hard work. This was what I’d been waiting for, my moment to bond to the gems, and I had to focus on that. Or I’d never make it through this ceremony.
Before I could hurt myself thinking this hard, the light reached its peak intensity, and just as my father had advised, a path appeared, a path of light that glittered on top of what looked like solid water.
I felt no hesitation as I stepped onto the “path,” each step smooth, as I continued across the sparkling light, until eventually the crowds grew quiet behind me and my head started to clear. The journey across the water took quite some time, and when I finally reached the land on the other side, my mind was as silent as my surroundings.
I might have achieved maximum Zen or something, because this was the calmest my thoughts had ever been.