but I do. We did some regression sessions in our fey studies, and I am sure that I have lived at least two lifetimes before this one. In both, I was not fey, but something much more savage. The emotions that came from that realization. It was ... well, let's just say it was enough to ensure that I have worked hard in this life to be reasonable, rational, and the one to bring some lighthearted relief in darker times."
Before I could stop myself, my hand was on his forearm, and I felt the vibration of the tree’s energy in that touch. It was literally streaming from his palm into his body.
"Fighting against your true nature isn’t going to help you become the best version of yourself, Jake. You know that. If you're always at war inside, then that’s where you’ll stay. It took me a long time to accept myself as I am, abrasive edges and all, and while accepting my flaws wasn’t easy, I’ve had a lot more peace since I did."
I'd tried to force myself to fit, cutting off pieces of my heart for years so I’d be pretty and likeable and sweet and happy. If I could be the perfect child, then someone would love me. If I could be the perfect woman, someone would cherish me.
Perfect was bullshit.
"You are perfect," Jacob said suddenly, and I jerked away.
"I didn't say I wasn't," I whispered, rapidly blinking as I tried to process what had just happened.
Jacob didn't let me get far away. "I heard you," he said, and there was no hesitation. "I've heard you ever since I half-shifted and you touched me."
"Every fucking thought?" I screeched, trying to step back, but I was boxed in by too many trees and couldn't move.
Jacob shook his head, and I had a small burst of relief. "Thank fuck. But obviously some of my thoughts."
"Yep, every now and then a particularly strong one slaps me upside the head."
"You misunderstood me," I murmured to him, accepting what he was saying. "I don't want to be perfect. It's not a compliment to say that to me. I rebel against the very notion."
Jacob was so close now that I could practically taste him on my tongue, his heat and scent caressing every bare inch of my skin. "You misunderstand me, Justice Winter," he drawled back. "I didn't mean you were perfect in the 'supermodel airbrushed with no personality' way. You're thinking like a human. I meant that for me, you are perfect. I like your fire. Your abrasiveness. The snark and humor that you attack every day with. Even your taste in music and food is growing on me. All of that is what makes you unique and special, drawing me back time and time again.”
I snorted. A particularly loud and rumbly snort. "You’re drawn back because of a pre-determined bond of fate. Nothing else."
Jacob shook his head. "You're wrong. I wanted you when I hadn't even gotten close enough to feel your energy or know that your favorite flowering plants is lavender, and that your scent would be so intertwined with them because you make your own body cream from the wild flowers.” He stroked a hand across my skin and I gasped. “For a bond to be realized, we have to be close to each other, but I wanted you long before I got that close. Trust me. "
"How?" I gasped. "How could you possibly know I make my own body cream?" I'd started when I figured out that human-made toiletries didn't react well with my skin. In my younger years I'd thought I just had sensitive skin, but now I recognized it was that human chemicals did not mesh with supes.
His smile was slow, and when those perfect white teeth emerged, all I wanted to do was reach out and brush my fingers across those full lips, followed by my tongue, and … I was in so much trouble.
"I've watched you since you first entered our world. I noticed a lot."
I raised an eyebrow in his direction. "Okay, Creepy McCreepster."
He didn't bother to deny it.
"Where do you want to go from here?" I asked.
He sucked in air, releasing it a moment later, and then repeated it a few times like he was calming his mind. "I don't really know," he admitted. "I'm still not sure it's safe for the world if I'm so out of control, but clearly, even if we’re not bonded completely, my instincts toward you are on