Eleanor Oliphant Is Completely - Gail Honeyman Page 0,46
voice oozingly oleaginous, “you don’t have friends, darling. Now come on, tell me where you really were, and I want the truth this time. Were you doing something naughty? Tell Mummy, there’s a good girl.”
“Honestly, Mummy, I was out with Raymond”—there was a snort—“visiting this nice old man in hospital. He fell in the street and we helped him and—”
“SHUT YOUR LYING LITTLE CAKE HOLE!” I flinched, dropped the book, picked it up again.
“You know what happens to liars, don’t you, Eleanor? You remember?” Her voice was back to sickly sweet. “I don’t mind how bad the truth is, but I won’t tolerate lies, Eleanor. You of all people should know that, even after all this time.”
“Mummy, I’m sorry if you don’t believe me, but it’s true. Raymond and I went to hospital to visit a man we’d helped when he had an accident. It’s true, I swear it!”
“Really?” she drawled. “Well, that’s just delightful, isn’t it? You can’t be bothered to talk to your own mother, and yet you spend your Wednesday evenings visiting some geriatric, accident-prone stranger? Charming.”
“Please, Mummy, let’s not fight. How are you? Have you had a good day?”
“I don’t want to talk about me, Eleanor. I already know all about me. I want to talk about you. How is your project coming along? Any news for Mummy?”
I might have known she’d remember. How much should I tell her? Everything, I supposed.
“I went to his house, Mummy,” I said. I heard the click of a lighter and then a long exhaled breath. I could almost smell the smoke from her Sobranie.
“Oooh,” she said. “Interesting.” She took in another lungful and expelled it with a sigh. “Who’s this ‘he’”?
“He’s a musician, Mummy.” I didn’t want to tell her his name quite yet—there is a power in naming things, and I wasn’t quite ready to cede it to her yet, to hear those precious syllables rolled in her mouth, for her to spit them out again. “And he’s handsome and clever and, well, I think he’s the perfect man for me, really. I knew it as soon as I saw him.”
“That all sounds rather marvelous, darling. And you went to his house, did you? Tell me, what did you find there?”
I sniffed. “The thing is, Mummy . . . I didn’t actually . . . go inside.” This wasn’t going to be easy. She liked doing bad things, and I didn’t. It was as simple as that. I spoke quickly, hoping to head off the inevitable criticism. “I just wanted to have a quick look, make sure he lived somewhere app . . . appropriate,” I said, stumbling over the words in my haste to get them out.
She sighed. “And how are you supposed to know whether it’s nice if you didn’t go inside? You always were overcautious and lily-livered, darling,” she said, sounding bored.
I looked at my hands. The chipped green nails looked so garish in this light.
“What you have to do, Eleanor,” she said, “is grasp the nettle. Do you know what I mean by that?”
“I think so,” I whispered.
“I’m simply telling you that you mustn’t keep pussyfooting around, Eleanor.” She sighed. “Life is all about taking decisive action, darling. Whatever you want to do, do it—whatever you want to take, grab it. Whatever you want to bring to an end, END IT. And live with the consequences.”
She started to talk quietly, speaking so softly that I could hardly hear her. This, I knew from experience, did not bode well.
“This man . . .” she murmured. “This man sounds as if he has some potential, but, like most people, he’ll be weak. That means that you have to be strong, Eleanor. Strength conquers weakness—that’s a simple fact of life, isn’t it?”
“I suppose so,” I said sullenly, pulling a face. Childish, I know, but Mummy does tend to bring out the worst in me. The musician was very handsome and very talented. I knew, as soon as I set eyes on him, that we were destined to be together. Fate would see to that. I didn’t need to take any more . . . decisive action, apart from ensuring that our paths crossed again—once we met properly, the rest was, surely, already written in the stars. I suspected that Mummy wasn’t going to be pleased with this approach, but I was more than accustomed to that. I heard her breathe in, then out, and felt the soft menace through the ether.
“Don’t you go getting sidetracked, now, Eleanor—don’t