the same music and movies and books. Who doesn’t use a phone as another appendage.”
She understood…because she had loved how Ghost understood the jokes and movie quotes she’d grown up with.
“I like that sex with you is more relaxed. You have experience, know what you like. Like to give as well as take. Like to explore.”
She was starting to feel good. Really good.
“I want a woman who’s lived a few decades. And as it happens, I like a soft woman under me.” His voice dropped to a rumbling growl. “You are very soft, pet.”
Oh.
He kissed her again. “Be warned, lass. We’re going to work on the crap you absorbed from your folks.”
“I…I learned what they said wasn’t true.” But then she let it affect her again. She sighed. “Or so I thought.”
“That’s all right.” A corner of his mouth tilted up. “I’ll have no problem punishing you any time I discover you thinking unkind thoughts about yourself.”
A horrified squeak escaped her.
His smile widened. “Actually, let me rephrase; I’ll enjoy the hell out of it.”
Oh gods.
Chapter Nineteen
Sixty…sixty-one… The next morning, Valerie lay on the carpet in her apartment and tried for another crunch. Her abs burned like fire. I can do it… Or not. With a groan, she flopped like a dead person onto the carpet. And ow. Her back and shoulders stung, too, because…flogger.
She smiled and wiggled her shoulders, savoring the light pain.
What a day and night.
Thank goodness she’d convinced Faylee and Master Drake to make the video. It hadn’t been easy. Then again, she’d grown up supervising the self-important housekeepers in her parents’ home, raised two children, and taught for years. She had skills.
There hadn’t been any need to convince the Shadowkittens. The amazing group of women had simply rallied around.
Valerie sat up and put her arms around her knees. The actual presentation in the Shadowlands had gone off better than she could have dreamed. Spit, but she’d been tense, what with worrying how the members would react.
And how Master Z would react. She’d half thought he might shove her into one of the cages for disobedient submissives.
Mostly, she’d worried what Ghost would think.
Resting her chin on her knees, she thought about his face. When he saw Faylee and realized what was going on, his jaw had gone hard.
And her stomach had sank.
But as the members started swearing at Wrecker’s lies, he’d been surprised. She’d known then he wouldn’t be resigning and was going to be all right.
And…she’d realized she loved him.
Not that she’d admitted it to herself or him during his “interrogation”—no, she hadn’t been thinking at all then.
But later, upstairs in his “quarters”, when he’d been inside her, filling her, his green eyes trapping hers…then she’d known.
She was in love with him. With Ghost. With Dr. Finn Blackwood. With the Dom and sadist and manager of the Shadowlands.
Way to go, self. Didn’t I tell you not to get involved with anyone? To stay out of a relationship?
Her jealousy should have been a warning to run, far and fast. But noooo, her heart operated independently of all her rules.
She tightened her arms around her knees as worry slid through her.
When Barry dumped her, it’d hurt so much, even though, by that time, their marriage felt more like roommates than lovers.
But with Ghost? Every time he spoke to her, laughed with her, touched her—her heart radiated with joy, and her emotions danced.
If—when—he walked away, it was going to shatter her into tiny pieces.
She breathed out.
Face it, woman, it’s too late to flee. At this point, running away would simply mean she would hurt much sooner.
Might as well accept the inevitable. If studying the various religions had taught her anything, it was that one should savor each moment with one’s beloved.
She could push him away—or cling obsessively—in fear of losing him to someone else or even to death. Or she could accept that change would happen and make the most of what she felt.
Because she really did love him.
For a few minutes, she simply indulged in the glory of the emotion. Of feeling alive and being able to give, to receive.
She’d never thought she’d feel this way about a man again.
The world really did hold miracles.
Eventually, she returned to earth…after remembering making love with him a few times.
And then she remembered their condom discussion after he’d returned from disposing of one and cleaning up.
She grinned. He’d been so sneaky…
“You know, a nice woman would take pity on a poor crippled veteran and let him stop using condoms.”