“Promise?” he asked as he squeezed my hand, the same way I’d squeezed another part of his anatomy.
“While you’re in an agreeable mood, there’s something else I’ve been wanting to ask you.”
He dropped my hand and my breath caught, was he going to ask me to…?
When he pulled out his wallet, I almost laughed that that’s where my mind had gone. I was going to tell him what I’d thought, when he pulled out a folded up notebook paper, my heart stopped. “Is that…?”
“Yes. This is a letter that you wrote to me fourteen years ago. I found it in my bag and read it the night before I left to go on my first international circuit. And I’ve read it thousands of times since then.”
“You have?” I couldn’t believe that he’d not only got it but that he’d kept it.
“Yes. But it wasn’t anything I didn’t know. I always knew how you felt about me, and to be honest, I felt the same way.” He took a deep breath. “The reason I stopped talking to you in middle school was because when I saw you that first day of eighth grade I couldn’t speak. I couldn’t breathe. My palms got sweaty. My heart felt like it was going to beat out of my chest.”
“It did?”
“Yep, and I popped a boner, but you know that happens around you a lot.”
Knowing that he still had the letter was one thing, hearing all this was… I didn’t even know what to say.
“That’s why I stayed away from you. I couldn’t even be in the same room as you.”
“But if you liked me, why didn’t you…?”
“I didn’t just like you, I loved you.”
“Why didn’t you say anything?”
“I couldn’t. I thought for a long time that I didn’t tell you how I felt because I was protecting you, and maybe part of me was. I knew that I couldn’t stay in this town and I didn’t want to hurt you by leaving. I was selfish and I wanted my career.”
“That’s not selfish. You were a kid.”
“Yeah, but then I grew up. And I think the real reason that I didn’t say anything all those years was not that I was scared to hurt you, it was because I was scared that if I did tell you how I felt, if I did kiss you and make love to you, then I wouldn’t have left. I would have given up my career to be with you.”
I shook my head, “I don’t think that would’ve happened.”
“We’ll never know. When I came back home, I tried to stay away from you again because I’m broken and damaged—”
“You are not”
“I know that now. You showed me that. But I’m just telling you how I felt. I thought that you deserved better than a washed-up cowboy that knew you loved him for years and was too chicken shit to do anything about it.”
“Well, when you put it like that…” I teased but he didn’t smile. “Why are you telling me all this?”
“Because, just like I wanted you to know that I’d watched you doing naked yoga before we had sex. I wanted you to know all the facts before I ask you…” He reached into his pocket and pulled out a beautiful solitaire diamond ring. I gasped as tears filled my eyes to the brim. “Olivia Calhoun, to me you are perfect in an infinite amount of ways, and I don’t deserve you, but I love you. You are the only woman I’ve ever loved. I don’t deserve you, but I’m a hell of a lot better than the nose picker.”
I laughed as I wiped my eyes. “He had an itch.”
Holden smiled but then grew serious again. “I can’t give us back all the years that I wasted, but I can promise you that I will do everything I can to make you happy every second of every minute of every day for the rest of our lives if you’ll let me. Will you make me the happiest, luckiest man in the entire world and be my wife?”
“Yes! Yes! Yes!” I shouted as he slid the ring on my finger and wrapped his arms around me.
I couldn’t believe what had just happened. Not only was Holden not having a baby with someone else, he’d read my letter, been in love with me since we were kids, and we were going to get married.
“There you are! I’ve been looking all over for you. They’re cutting the cake.” Molly