fantasize that he’d come back and walk in my class, pick me up, and carry me out like Richard Gere in Officer and a Gentleman. Or how many hours I had daydreamed about him showing up before prom in a tux, like my very own Prince Charming. Or later in college how I’d imagined him coming into my dorm or study hall and confessing his love for me, Jerry Maguire style.
Every time I’d brought up the subject of how long I’d been pining after him, it seemed to make him feel bad. He would put himself down and say that he was an asshole or a selfish prick and that he didn’t deserve me. He would promise that he would make it up to me.
I didn’t tell him those things to make him feel bad. If anything, it was just so he’d know how much I loved him. But he’d had such a strong reaction whenever I shared anything about my feelings for him in the past that I hadn’t brought up the letter I’d written to him and slipped in his bag yet. I was going to one day, but I figured we had time.
As I turned the corner on our street, I immediately checked for Holden’s truck. It wasn’t there. I’d go in, grab chips and Channing and if he wasn’t home in fifteen minutes I’d head back to the party. But if he did come home during that time, then I’d at least get in a kiss, hopefully more.
It blew my mind that I could kiss Holden anytime I wanted. When we’d been at the rehearsal dinner earlier, I’d been watching him hanging out with my brother from across the room, so I just went over and kissed him. I could do that now. It was crazy.
Bentley wasn’t thrilled. The opposite actually, he made gagging noises. Until Maisy saw him and gave him a look. Then he stopped immediately. I loved that girl.
My brother had been giving us a hard time, especially when he saw us together. But separately, he’d told us how happy he was that two of the people he loved most in the world loved each other. He’d told me that he knew Holden was going to take care of me and treat me right. He’d told Holden that if he even thought about hurting me, he’d end up at the bottom of Emerald Cove Lake.
It was nice to know where Bentley’s loyalties lay.
I was smiling from ear to ear when I heard a voice I didn’t recognize. The country night was so quiet that anyone speaking outside, even at a normal tone, their voice would carry for miles. Well not miles, but a long distance. I couldn’t really tell where it was coming from, so I ignored it.
Until, that is, I walked up my driveway and saw that the voice I’d heard belonged to an incredibly tall, incredibly gorgeous woman standing on Holden’s porch. She was talking on the phone and didn’t notice me walk up. I didn’t recognize her but there was something familiar about her.
I was going to go ask her if she needed anything, since I knew Holden wasn’t home, when I heard her say, “He’s not home but I texted him and told him I was here. He said he’s on his way.”
My heart sank like the Titanic. It was then that I realized why she looked familiar. She was Luciana, Holden’s ex. I froze, unable to breathe.
Why was she here?
Why had she texted him?
Why had he said he was on his way?
My entire body went numb. I couldn’t feel my legs as I rushed quietly up onto my own porch, hoping not to draw any attention to myself. My hands shook as I pulled my keys from my purse and tried to unlock the door.
Channing started barking excitedly and I hurried inside. When I closed the door behind me he jumped on me and I pulled him into my arms, needing to feel the solidness of his body. He kissed my face as I stood there trying to catch my breath.
When he started barking again, I realized it was because he heard Holden’s truck pulling up. Oh shit. If Holden knew that I hadn’t picked up Channing yet, he might come over to check on him.
“Shh! Shh!” I frantically shushed him, before remembering what Holden had taught me about calm assertive energy. I took a deep breath and tried to be zen as I snapped my fingers and