first time since he sat at his parents’ dinner table that he felt the spirit of the season. They found a spot not far from Spanish Street, and he paid the parking lot attendant before taking his space and waiting near the back of the car for Archer to join him.
The air was still and quiet, and he could hear the faint rising and falling tones of something like music far off in the distance, but he wasn’t sure what direction, or what was playing. He let himself be carefully aware of Archer though, of the tentative way he touched their palms together, and the way he pulled Julian from the car.
“Are you hungry? How do you sign that?”
Julian smiled and showed him before he shook his head. “Not for a meal. I could get something small though, if you want to sit somewhere.”
Archer waved him off with his free hand, tugging Julian close with their linked fingers, and he brushed a kiss against the side of his face. “Walking is nice. I grew up like four hours away from here, but Rex always avoided the touristy places.”
Julian hummed softly as they went around the corner and saw the courtyard across from the Cathedral Basilica was brightly lit and there were people milling around. Julian was pretty sure that was where the music was coming from, and he let Archer lead the way to the crosswalk where a small crowd gathered.
“This is gorgeous,” he said, leaning up to speak near his ear.
Julian waved his fingers in a fanned circle around his face. “Beautiful,” he offered, and Archer copied the sign, then pointed at him and Julian felt both flattered and foolish, even as he tugged Archer in closer. “Is your brother missing you for the holidays?”
The light changed, and they hung back at the very edge of the crowd as Archer shrugged and kept to the fringes of the small holiday crowd. “Not really. We never really celebrated before. I was always working at the lab, and he was always busy with…you know.”
“Governing a state?” Julian offered, and he saw the way Archer tried to hide a wince. “You know it’s okay, right? I’m not going to tell him about this.”
Archer bit the inside of his cheek, which made it look hollow and gaunt under the foggy yellow light. “I wasn’t worried about that. I’ve just been struggling about what to do next.”
“After what?” Julian asked. He spotted a bench at the far end of the little courtyard and pulled Archer down to sit. He didn’t like the conflict in his eyes, or the way he was worrying his lip, no matter how attractive it was. He reached up, touching the arm of Archer’s glasses, and his heart beat a little harder at the smile he managed to tug out of his lover. “You don’t have to tell me, but maybe I can help?”
Archer shrugged and leaned back, tucking in close. The air was getting colder as the night wore on, but the pair took refuge in each other’s warmth. “He asked me to stay. Uh…a few days ago, when I was at lunch with him. I planned to go right back to work, but…”
“In Paris?” Julian asked.
Archer shrugged. “That’s where all my research is. My colleagues and I have been together forever. I know the professors at the Universities. I know the lab, I know the research. I’ve been there for eight years, and it might not be home, but…”
“But it’s safe,” Julian offered quietly. His heart ached a bit, because Paris was so far. Paris was an ocean and a couple of countries away. It might as well have been an entirely different universe then, because he knew if Archer went back, that would be it. Julian wouldn’t be able to reach out and touch him the way he wanted—when he wanted. There was no future in that, and he felt all his unspoken promises start to crumble to ash.
“I didn’t want to hurt him, but I know a lot of the reason why he wants me here is because he wants to show openly that he supports me.” Archer scrubbed at his eyes with a sigh. “It works for his agenda.”
Julian hummed and gently carded his fingers through the side of Archer’s hair as he rested his head against Julian’s shoulder. “Are you sure it’s not more than that?”
“He misses me,” Archer conceded. “But not enough. My best friend is a fashion designer—and he does some stuff