Echoes Page 0,69

didn't sound like a petulant child, but a woman with a holy purpose.

“That's a cloistered order. You will live like a prisoner for the rest of your life, shut away from the world. You're a beautiful young girl, you should have a husband and babies.”

“I want to be a nun,” she said clearly. Beata shuddered. Fortunately, Daphne was at a friend's, so she didn't hear them.

“You're doing it because Edith Stein did. She was a forty-two-year-old woman when she went in. She'd had a life. She knew what she was doing. You don't. You're too young to make this decision.”

“I'll have plenty of time to find out,” Amadea said sensibly. “It takes eight years before you take final vows.” She knew all about it. “Mama, it's the life I want.” Her eyes never left her mother's, and were filled with quiet determination, which terrified Beata.

“Why? Why?” Beata wailed, with tears running down her face. “You're beautiful and young, you have your whole life ahead of you. Why would you do that?”

“I want to serve God, and this is the best way I know how. I think this is what He wants. I want to be the bride of Christ, just the way you loved Papa. This is who I want. You're religious, Mama. You go to church. How can you not understand?” Amadea looked hurt that her mother was so unhappy about it, and something in her eyes reminded Beata of her own mother, when she told her about Antoine. Her mother had felt betrayed. And now so did Beata. It made her feel like her father, rigid and unyielding, and she didn't want to be that. But she didn't want her daughter going into the convent either. To Beata, it seemed abnormal.

“I admire you for your devotion,” Beata said quietly, “but it's a hard life. I want something better than that for you. A man to take care of you, children who love you.” And then she thought of Daphne. “What will your sister and I do without you?” She was devastated at the prospect.

“I will pray for you. That's far better than anything I could do here. I will be of much greater use praying for the world than watching the terrible things people do to destroy each other, man's terrible unkindness to their fellow man.” Amadea was deeply upset by the current injustices to the Jews, and had been since they began. It went against everything she believed, and she had strong beliefs. Beata loved her for it. But not this. Not this terrible waste of her daughter becoming a nun, locked away in a convent like a prisoner. “Will you think about it, Mama? Please? It's all I want … You can't stop me, but I want you to give me your blessing.” It was exactly what she had asked her parents for when she married Antoine. Now Amadea was asking her blessing to follow Christ. It was a terrible decision for Beata. “I love you,” Amadea said softly and put her arms around her as Beata sighed through her tears.

“How did this happen? When did you make this decision?”

“I talked to Ella's sister about it before she did it. I always thought I had a vocation, but I wasn't sure. I talked to our priest about it for months. Now I know it's right for me, Mama. I'm sure.” She looked beautiful as she said it, which tugged at Beata's heart more than ever.

“Why? How can you be sure?”

“I just am. I feel so certain about it.” As her mother looked at her, she saw eyes full of peace. Like a young saint. But Beata could not bring herself to be happy about it. It seemed a terrible waste, and a tragedy to her. To Amadea, it was a gift. The only one she wanted, along with her mother's blessing.

“When do you want to do this?” Beata hoped there would be time to dissuade her. Like maybe a year.

“I'm going in next week. There's no reason for me to wait any longer. I finished school.” She had been waiting for that to tell her mother, but now it was happening very quickly.

“Does Daphne know about this?” Beata asked, and Amadea shook her head. Daphne was only ten, but the girls were close.

“I wanted to tell you first. I was hoping you could be happy for me, after you got used to the idea.” It was so exactly what she had gone through with her parents