Echoes Between Us - McGarry, Katie Page 0,21

it to me when you’re done.” Veronica opens the door, and I leave.

* * *

Mom woke up with a hangover, Lucy woke up whining about not being able to find her toys and each time they opened their mouths, my skin shrank. And it kept shrinking. To the point that my bones started to feel as if they were being crushed into dust.

I finally settled Lucy in front of the TV with two boxes of her things, Mom resting on the back porch with a thick novel, her sunglasses and sunscreen, and I got the hell out.

A quick doctor’s appointment, my cast is off, I’m free and that’s not a good thing.

The speedometer of my car rises higher and higher as I press harder on the gas. Rocks and dust fly behind me as I take the sharp curve too wide. It’s a dirt road, one that was closed a few miles back. There were NO TRESPASSING signs. Many of them along the route. But I don’t care. That only adds to the growing high.

At the top of the old rock quarry, I slam on the brakes and throw the car into park. I toss the keys onto the passenger seat and push open the driver’s-side door. I rip my shirt over my head, take the shoes and socks off my feet and toss them and my wallet onto the seat.

I slam the car door shut and my pulse pounds in my ears as I stalk to the edge of the quarry. And that’s where I find my zone. My toes hanging off the rock, pebbles that had shifted under my weight falling and plummeting to the water below.

The water below …

It’s a safe jump, it’s why I picked it. Forty feet. Not as many rocks in the water as other jumps. Forty feet. Safe. “Damn.”

I run a hand through my hair, pulling at the strands to create pain, and force myself away from the edge. Safe. There’s nothing safe about this. It’s stupid. That’s what it is. It’s how I broke my arm. I did a bad dive. I jumped at another quarry that was too high and into water that was too shallow. I almost drowned. I almost died.

“Dammit!” I yell, and my voice echoes along the walls of the empty quarry.

But I need this high. I want this high. I want to feel the surge of adrenaline in my veins as I step off the ledge. I love the way my stomach rises, how the wind rushes over my body, and the complete feeling of freedom as, for a few seconds, I’m flying. And then there’s the hit. The pain of my body coming in contact with the water. The shock of the cold locking up my muscles. My lungs burning as I go deeper and then the panic as I fight for the surface. The moment of terror when I think I’m never going to taste air again and then the overwhelming feeling of triumph as I break through to the surface.

But I almost died.

Died.

But that was a higher jump. A more dangerous jump.

This jump isn’t as high. It’s safer.

Safer.

Mom’s voice plays in my brain,

I’m sorry, Sawyer. I’m sorry.

The sound of Lucy’s screams.

The pure hate in Veronica’s eyes.

How I fail.

At school.

At home.

How I never meet expectations.

With friends.

With family.

With …

Swim, Math

English, Projects, Papers

Moving …

Bounced checks.

My father.

No control.

Out of control.

Spinning.

My muscles lock.

My head swims.

My blood runs hot.

Runs fast.

I’m boiling alive.

I need to cool off.

I need a release.

I need it.

I need.

Need.

I’m addicted.

Addicted.

And I hate myself for it.

Loathe.

I’m running. Toward the cliff and all the voices screaming in my head go silent as I take one step too many and jump feet-first into the abyss.

VERONICA

My body hums with nervous energy. Leo is close, so close tonight. Maybe that means something. Maybe that means he’s also feeling the weight of our time running short. Maybe he doesn’t want to leave without saying and doing all the things that need to be said and done.

A few feet from us, Jesse’s red hair sticks out from his sleeping bag and the rest of him is buried deep within the material. Nazareth, on the other hand, the guy who runs forever hot, is stretched out on top of his sleeping bag. His arms and legs tossed about during a restless sleep. The bonfire that was raging hours before has tapered off to a slow, glowing burn.

We’re on Jesse’s land, acres and acres from civilization. This place is like a second home to me. The