Echoes Between Us - McGarry, Katie Page 0,142

can’t see through the blurriness in my eyes. “I don’t want her to be gone.”

Dad’s voice breaks. “I know, baby. I don’t want her to be gone, either.”

The sound that leaves me is my heart breaking. My shoulders shake and my father wraps an arm around me, then another arm weaves under my legs. I’m lifted and then he’s holding me. My arms twine around his neck like I’m a child and I cry. I cry hard, I cry long, and my shoulder is wet as Dad weeps with me.

A nurse walks in, we ignore her, and something cold enters my veins. My mouth tastes weird and a few minutes later, the tears are less, my breathing eases and my father holds me as he hums an old Aerosmith song—my mom’s favorite.

* * *

I wake and I’m in bed. Sawyer’s beside me. My head is on his chest, his arm is wrapped tightly around me. The light in the hospital room is wrong. Plus, I can hear rain hitting the roof. I pop my head up and then remember that we’re home.

I’m home. It’s Sunday, I’ve been home since Friday and Sawyer’s spending the weekend with me. I sigh heavily. Chemo starts tomorrow, but I’ll worry about that then as there’s nothing I can do about it now.

There are purple and pink lights strung around my room. A basket full of chocolates and jelly beans is on my bedside table. Very colorful construction-paper bunnies and eggs are taped all over my room thanks to Lucy. There are stuffed rabbits of varying size thanks to Sylvia and Miguel—and I try to ignore the fact that everyone at school now knows that I had brain tumor surgery and that Sylvia and Miguel have been running holiday drives for me so I can have as many holidays as I want for as long as I want. Yes, the sentiment is nice.

Greer told me last night that once I was done with chemo and radiation that we would do a Passover dinner together—even if it’s not officially Passover. A celebration, like that of the Israelites, of death passing me by.

Because Dad is awesome, he’s allowing Sawyer to sleep in my bed with me. I think he wanted to say no, but then saw how I smiled at the idea of Sawyer next to me. Anyhow, all I do is sleep, and Sawyer’s a trooper for spending hours watching reruns on cable while waiting on the brief few minutes that I’m actually awake.

The only time Sawyer leaves me on the weekends is to go to his AA meetings with his friend Knox. He doesn’t see his mom. She’s in denial of her problem, and his father filed for emergency sole custody and won. Now, his dad is going for permanent full custody.

Sawyer and his father easily fall into fights, but Sawyer mentioned that since his brother has been born, they fight less. At least that’s what I think he said. It all could have been a dream.

“Hey, sleepyhead.” Sawyer gives me a hesitant smile.

“You smell like a pool,” I say, but I’ve grown to love the scent. It makes me think of him and the nights we used to kiss for hours.

“You say that a lot.”

“Because it’s true.” I rest my chin on his chest and hate that even though all I’ve done is sleep, I want to sleep more. “I’m sorry I’m not good company.”

“It doesn’t bother me. Remember—we had a deal. You told your dad the truth, and I’m yours.”

I scoot up the bed and rest my head on my pillow so that I’m on the same level as him. “Will you kiss me?”

Sawyer’s smile grows and his eyes twinkle. “Your dad’s going to kick my ass if he finds out.”

“I won’t tell. I mean, I’d have to at least be awake to do that.”

Sawyer chuckles. “True.” His eyes darken as he looks at my lips, an indication he’s been thinking about this as much as I’ve been dreaming about it—all the time.

He leans forward, and the electricity of that moment right before the kissing sizzles in the air. My skin prickles with excitement, and when his lips meet mine, I can barely breathe.

His lips move, my lips move, and when I place my hand on his chest because I want so much more, Sawyer pulls away. “Your dad’s coming.”

“No, he’s not.” But then my door opens and I can’t help but laugh. Dad looks at me, looks at Sawyer, and then scowls.