Earth Husbands are Odd (Earth Fathers #2) - Lyn Gala Page 0,62

me to stop having fear or anger. I love that you’re caring and I promise to try to avoid...” Rick hesitated. “What should I avoid?” he asked.

Max laughed. “You don’t have to avoid anything because you are perfect.”

Rick blew raspberries. “I promise to avoid noticing that you do not see me clearly. I love what a good father you are, and I promise to only trust you with our beautiful children. No matter what the universe throws at us, I promise that I will always put you first because you are my family.”

“Now you kiss,” Dee said.

Considering where Rick’s mouth was, that might have been awkward, but Rick brought his largest arm tentacle up and brushed it across Max’s mouth. Max caught it and kissed the red tip.

“Woo hoo!” Dee clapped and whistled.

Rick’s tentacles spasmed, pulling Max off balance. “Explain noise!” he bellowed while Max tried to get his feet under him without stepping on any tentacle tips. Luckily, Rick was strong enough to hold him while he did it.

“Making noise is traditional to congratulate the new couple,” Dee said. “This is me congratulating you and making noise to let everyone know that I wish you many years of happy married life.”

Rick’s tentacles relaxed, which made it much easier for Max to right himself, and Kohei started bellowing. After a second, the judge added his whistlish cries. Max pulled his shirt down. “Next time, warn Rick before you do that.”

“I thought he was sweeping you off your feet,” Dee said with a smile. “Congratulations. Both of you.”

The judge tapped his wrist translator. “Traditional congratulations. I recorded the covenant marriage. Unbalanced Max is allowed to sell the work of Ugly Rick.”

Before Max could say anything, the judge retreated to the far side of the table. Since he had been recording an official document, he probably needed to use the official titles, so Max decided to be charitable and forgo any knee-cracking. Besides, this was his wedding day.

“We should have pictures,” Max said. “After I get out of these clothes.” They were still dirty from the weapons testing he had been doing with Xena.

“I will speak to Unbalanced Dee of damage from lack of gregariousness.” The judge backed toward the far door.

“What about it?” Dee asked.

“We speak elsewhere.” The judge continued to back away.

After rolling her eyes, Dee followed. “I’ll see you guys later. Don’t take off.” She stopped and gave Max a searching look.

“Never leave anyone behind,” he said.

She smiled and gave him a quick nod before she turned and followed the judge toward the far door.

“What is traditional after a marriage?” Kohei asked.

Max blinked. No way in hell was he explaining the concept of honeymoon to his children. Nope. Let them figure out what parents did the same way all the Earth kids did—by watching television. It might not be the most accurate depiction of adult relationships, but the longer Max had kids, the more he understood why parents did not discuss some things. Kids had a bad habit of asking awkward questions.

“We should find food Max likes. He picks at ship food without enjoying,” Rick said.

“You noticed?”

Rick blew raspberries. “We will sell the navigation program to the one you designate Al Bundy and then we will find you food you enjoy. I dislike watching you put food in your mouth the way a—whale song- eats a—burb—”

Feeling almost nostalgic, Max said, “Translation matrix failure.”

Rick tightened his hold.

Husbands. They were actual husbands. Odd husbands, but Max had grown used to odd. He even kinda liked it. Max squeezed his husband’s tentacle.

Chapter Twenty-Two

“Rick Father, Max Father!” Xander flew at them the second the ship door opened. The unemotional translation computer didn’t communicate excitement, but Xander’s volume and speed did.

“Xander!” Max gave him a hug, and when James followed, Max bent over to pull him in close. It took Rick a couple of seconds, then he was there, curling his tentacles around the younger two kids, and finally Kohei joined in. Max had tentacles everywhere, and he assumed the one down the back of his pants was Rick’s.

“I’m so glad you guys are safe.” Standing safely in their ship with his whole family around him, the cold fear that had wrapped around Max’s heart eased.

James twitched all of his tentacles. “We are much with safety. We were always much with safety. You and Rick Father were not with safety. We worried.”

“Sorry, buddy.” Max hugged James tighter for a second before standing.

“Max Father,” Xander said, “Al Bundy sent a message. He says he can